Thursday, June 27, 2013

SarcastiCarrie is a Robot

I had to do it.  I had to turn on the captcha.  I hope it's not too bad, but the spam was getting to be too much for me (and I don't even delete it...just leave it there).  By the way, I am a robot and it usually takes me two or three or more! times to get the captcha right.  I never know whether the capitals are important or the spacing.  Sometimes, I even have to have it read to me.  Then I have to go find the unmute button on my computer, turn sound on, listen carefully, type it in, etc.  Am Robot.

Since this is the most boring blog post in the history of time, I reward you with a photo spread.  I am really quite fond of these children.

Often, as I am driving in the car, I think of blog posts I would like to write.  But, alas, I don't have any voice to text software installed in my car radio, so it's just not going to happen.

One thing I wanted to complain about:  all my financial institutions and email (and blogger) want me to give them my cell phone number so I can log in with a secret code or do data recovery if I get hijacked.  Problem?  I don't text.  I don't have a texting plan. It costs me $0.20 to get a text.   So, one day, I wanted to log on to my bank from work but the work computer hadn't been used before and didn't have a cookie so my bank wanted to call my phone of record with a code I needed to use to log in, so I had them call my house, had the nanny answer the call, write down the code, then call me on my desk phone with it.  And this is supposed to make me like my bank?  I mean, sure I am glad that my money isn't disappearing from my account unauthorizedly (again), but this is not the way to win me over.

Seriously, someone had set up their auto pay on their car payment using my account (a typo I am sure because the bank decided to change everyone's account numbers one day...which was super annoying after having the same account for 15 years...much longer for many others, I am sure), but the bank would not stop the payments because it was a valid account number.  Yes, but I didn't authorize it and this is my account.  I had to figure it out myself and call the GMAC people and make them stop.  very annoying since I didn't have the account number for the auto loan I wasn't trying to service.

Let's also talk about my period, which OMG, I am getting one and after a lifetime of PCOS, this is weird.  The weaning is done and over and I am having somewhat regular menses.  And I have to say, I am not a fan.  How did the rest of you do it all these years?  This is annoying.  Every 35 days or so for 10 days, I have a period.  Then at the mid-month, I feel like I have appendicitis but it's just an egg over there enripening (always on the left).  Then it bursts out (OW, ow, ow) and then nothing for 8 or 10 days (I still have the old luteal phase defect), then BAM, another period.  It's all so....animalistic.  I have feelings at certain times of the month that make me realize I am no better than some kind of ...of...animal.  In heat.  Unpleasant.  And this whole period every month thing is for the birds.  For the last, ohhhh, 20 years, I have had hormonal birth control that stopped (or severely limited) the number and duration of periods.  This uncontrolled thing is craziness. 

So, I guess the tubal ligation is a win since I appear to be fertile like some 23-year old what with all these cycles, but it's a lose because ick, this sucks.  I have a feeling I will be back on something before too long.

Seriously, how do/did the rest of you do it?  I mean the mittelschmerz, the bleeding (that does not come on any sort of actual schedule so you kind of always need to be prepared), the more bleeding because after 10 days, you pretty much feel like you're bleeding to death.  Do you drink  heavily?  Lightly?  Do you have 3-day periods that come like clockwork and are light?