Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Things that make a 5th Grader giggle (or a 32-year old)

  • Regina is the capital of Saskatchewan. Regina rhymes with, well, something.
  • Lake Titticaca is the world's highest navigable lake.
  • titmouse is really a bird.
  • sperm whale is quite large and a marine mammal.
  • breast cancer is not the leading killer of women.
  • Trojans are from Troy.
  • Ramses was a New Kingdom Egyptian pharaoh.
  • Pipe Nipple is just funny.
  • And pornography checkers flag on both "has strong morals" and "the pen is mightier than" because the first one contains the string "ass" and the second "penis".

Please add some more in the comments. I love these. Because I am 10.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Random Agglomeration of Thoughts

Let;s do them in numbered list format. I;m good with numbers. Let;s also replace all apostrophes with semicolons. It;ll be fun.

  1. I am a little embarassed to mention this, but apparently, I had a lot of mucus when I was at my annual appointment. It was the ovulation, I swear. I don;t get all hot fo the speculum. Gobs of ewcm (that's egg white cervical mucus for people who don't track their cycles).
  2. The test this morning was negative, but even the most sensitive tests would read negative this early even if I were pregnant, which I probably am not.
  3. I am three people at work this week and it's a little bit stressful. From 6 am until 7:10 pm today I have been on the cell phone. I finally turned teh phone off.
  4. I accidentally faxed something to the guy's phone yesterday. And when the fax didn't go through, the fax machine kept calling and calling and calling. Whoops.
  5. Thanksgiving was good. If you ever get a chance to deep fry a cajun injected turkey, I recommend it. We had two turkeys. L-S's turkey (fried) was better than mine (traditional open pan oven roasted).
  6. Dinner was 45 minutes late because my 14-year old brother is a meticulous turkey carver. There was not one speck of meat on that bird when he was done and each slice was the same size as every other one. But we were eating 45 minutes late so I actualy died. Then I came back to life to do the dishes. Then my sister-in-law fell over my dishwasher while holding her baby and they're fine but the door and basket for the dishwasher will never be teh same again, but that's ok because if I can make it leak, I get a Bosch. L-S promised.
  7. Did you know that it is hardest to buy gifts for the people closest to you? Or so I have heard. I usually hit the ball out of the park for my husband (this year's birthday...crank powered emergency radio with 7 NOAA weather bands and a cell phone charger, emergency alert siren, and flashlight...the FR300 from Eton....I got him the Red Cross version from Lowe's for $43 less 10% coupon).
  8. I used a $10 off your $100 purchas at Target on Saturday. I am more than half-way done with shopping.
  9. Kohl's short-shipped my order by three pieces and one came in the wrong color (and their shipping is expensive but I called them and had them reverse teh shipping charges...hopefully that worked).
  10. I love Walgreen's but there is some federal case between them and Caremark (who owns CVS). I don't know the details, but I guess Caremark wants to direct retail traffic to CVS and Walgreen's won't play ball and all I know is there is a Walgreen's on every corner and in even the smallest towns I frequent, so I need Walgreen's. They have Fever-All and Pedialyte, and special formula and diapers and sweatpants and cards and gift cards and milk. It's everything a busy mom needs. And now my insurance isn't accepted at Walgreen's. I consulted Casa SarcastiCarrie's resident pharmacist "Banjo" and she said that Caremark is still playing nice with other, smaller pharmacies and that Medco and Walgreen's still cooperate.
  11. I think I will refer to Lisa, the new cat, as EnergetiCat. In the middle of the night, we found her in the upstairs bedroom with the turkey's wishbone, which up until that point had been on top of the stove.
  12. CoinStar, the coin counting kiosk in teh grocery store, will waive their standard 8.5% counting fee if you get an amazon gift certificate with your change, so I now have an amazon voucher for $20.01 (I was trying to make it even, but I wasn't perfect). Work gave me $100 in amazon vouchers as well, so there's the rest of the X-mas shopping (but they tell me taxes are coming out of my check to cover this "bonus" but isn't it more of a gift?).
  13. I absolutely adore the TV show Chuck and I hope hope hope the writer's strike does not kill it.
  14. I got my first Christmas card today. This means my cards are not first. I must hang my head in shame.

Monday, November 26, 2007

To test or not to test tells me that a home pregnancy test (hpt) can read positive as early as, oh, heck I don't know, whatever, but it's really low threshold levels for the brand I buy. I buy Dollar Store brand (or maybe it's Family Dollar) which is distributed by Inverness. The official rated sensitivity is 50 (which is micrograms of hCG per deciliter, I think).

Anecdotally, you can get a + test at 10 dpo or <10 mcg/dL on that brand despite whatever the official sensitivity is. With Chuck, at 12 days after trigger, which is probably 10 dpo, I was at 34 mcg/dL (which is really low for a successful pregnancy...which he is, as he pees on the potty and occassionally sleeps through the night). I am 7 or 8 dpo right now. hCG doubles every two days, so let's work backward on Chuck's numbers.
10 dpo 34
8 dpo 17
6 dpo 8.5

Right now, I am about 6 or 7 dpo, so I would be between 8 and 17, which officially would not show positive. So, do I waste the buck in the am? Yes, I will. I had a routine exam last Monday (which apparently in the throes of ovulation) and was given strict instructions that with my history of luteal phase insufficiency (low progesterone unable to sustain a pregnancy) I need to know ASAP so a progesterone number can be run and supplementation offered, if needed. I guess then I will test every two days after that until I get my period or I get that mystical second line. Which if we're being honest here, I do not expect, but I hope (or I don't hope, whatever....I'm not getting my hopes up).

On Funerals

It doesn't take a lyric poet to wax on about the significance of funerals, so I won't try, but I will say the following:

Why do I often have a good time at funerals despite being sad? It's because a funeral feels mandatory, so people come. And you often get to see people you like whom you haven;t seen in a while. I caught up with a large number of people I would not have seen otherwise. I called other people out of the blue to see whether they had heard. We chatted. It was nice. But it feels wrong.

Two more things:
1. If a measure of success of your life is how many people show up (in an icestorm) to pay their respects, my former co-worker was a huge success. He was a big man, both in stature and personality. He had many friends. It took about 2.5 hours to get up to the receiving line. THe line of people waiting to pay their respects snaked out of the chapel, around the corner, down the hall, through the "family room" where they keep the snacks, back down the hall the other way, up the steps toward the offices and back down and to the front door. If the weather had been more agreeable, I'm sure the line owuld have snaked outside and down the block. They ran out of prayer cards and when I signed teh book, it had ten or fifteen pages completed already.

2. When I die, if I have a headstone (which I will not as that is a huge waste of money), it will not read "Always Came Prepared for the 7:30 am Meeting" but it will read "Beloved Wife and Devoted Mother" and that is the way it should be. I went to the 7:30 am meeting today (in at work around 6:00), but come 4 pm, I scooted my way toward the exit pretty darn fast because Chuckles was eagerly awaiting my arrival at school (where he did not nap today). My priorities are in order.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

This Season's Hottest Toys

at my house....not in general because none of these toys make noise or are marketed with a tv show or movie.

Solving Path - fun for the entire family. On Thanksgiving (which was a huge 18-person success), even the sullen teenagers and slightly tipsy adults played.

Wedgits - which I just played with for a few peaceful minutes and found enthralling. You can buy them here or here.

And lastly, Magna Tiles which were also a lot of fun.

The phoen just rang. An old co-worker of mine died at work on Thanksigiving. I have to run to the funeral home now.

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Code Adam

Two things tonight.

1. I just checked in for my flight tomorrow morning, and I got a B group boarding pass. Not just any B, but B 36, whatever that means. Guess I should have done this earlier. What do I care where I sit though? It's business.

2. I hope to god you never need to know what a Code Adam is, because I do and I wish I didn't. Code Adam is the alert that goes out over the radio in the store when a child goes missing. They block the doors, search the bathrooms, etc. Chuckles caused a Code Adam on Saturday and I think I will now die five years earlier. Details will follow from my hotel room (if I have wi-fi, and really these days, who doesn't?), but rest assured, everyone is ok. A little worse for the wear, but fine.

Tuesday, November 06, 2007


Supposedly, I am hosting Thanksgiving here Casa Sarcastic. I am having 11 adults and 11 children. That's 22 people. I need to come up with the menu.

  • Turkey (obviously, but we're doing two, one in the fryer and one in the oven)
  • Crescent rolls from the cardboard can* with butter and margarine
  • mashed potatoes
  • sweet potatoes with brown sugar
  • southern comfort sweet potatoes
  • tossed salad*
  • cranberry salad from the can with the can indentations still on it, served on an attractive plate
  • cranberry jello with mandarin oranges
  • cranberry chutney
  • broccoli cream corn casserole (or souffle if you want to fancy it up)
  • green bean casserole
  • spinach/noodle/parmesan cheese side dish
  • gravy
  • stuffing (or dressing if you're southern or something, traditional not oyster or cornbread)
  • pumpkin pie x2
  • pumpkin crunch
  • something with apples or pears
  • whipped cream
  • beaujolais nouveau
  • coffee
  • spinach dip with cocktail ryes
  • veggie tray

*-these items added by my husband because it's not a holiday without them

What did I miss? I am sure there is something. Once the menu is finalized, I can begin writing the shopping list. Do you have any good recipes for carrots (I'm thinking savory, not sweet)? Share recipes with me, and I'll share mine with you.

Carly - how about a cranberry rice walnut celery salad recipe?


I haven't blogged much about my job. But I was late today. I got lost and wound up going away from work on the expressway. Apparently, one street near work just turns into an entrance ramp. That was a piece of information I wish I'd had prior to making that turn. Oh well. I got off the higway and came back and made it a few minutes late. To a meeting. With my boss. Very embarassing. I am supposed to be this totally together professional person, but I just keep doing stuff like this.

Also, in the last week, I have heard several people say (referring to my predecessor): "Oh, well, that's why Jennifer quit." Huh, that would have been good information to have. Apparently, Jennifer quit because the job sucked monkey butt, to put it politely (that's polite, trust me...I could have said much worse). The position involves being a referee between different departments and all the third-party registration places (like ISO and UL). And on one side, your conscience is telling you to do what is right, and on the other side "Larry" is telling you to hide all the bad stuff. Hey Mr. Rock meet Mr. HardPlace. I have a feeling this is another one of those AngeliCarrie versus DemoniCarrie moments. So far (and throughout most of my career), AngeliCarrie has won, but it's hard always saying no. Sometimes, you know it will be easier just to give in and say "yes" knowing you'll feel dirty later.

Rereading this: "Sometimes, you know it will be easier just to give in and say "yes" knowing you'll feel dirty later. " makes it sound dirty and like a whole lot more fun than it is.

Oh, and did I mention that I work in a division that was acquired in a somewhat hostile takeover so there is a lot of animosity and ill-will? I didn't mention that. Nevermind then.

Did I mention that corporate "forgets" that those of us in this other division have different phone numbers, no mail codes, a different ID card and so on? So, when they send out memos saying that so-and-so's phone number is now x2157 without giving the area code and exchange, it just pisses me off. Or, when they say that you can get a free flu shot after your scheduled shift by putting your request in a spreadsheet on the common folder on the server, I am enraged because I cannot access the common folder on the server because people in our division are denied access to these tools.

Oh, did I tell you that a guy actually told me that he would not give me that information because then I might use it??? It's not like I was trying to do insider trading. I was trying to learn my job, which is exceedingly difficult because no one returns my calls or emails and I have not gotten any training and when I do get someone on the phone and ask questions so I can train myself, they withhold information so I don't use it. ARGH!!!! I am starting to long for those golden days of 20-minute car rides to get someone to nap.

Pee on a Stick

So, I'm still using my little fertility sticks. It's kind of fun - like science. But, so far, nothing has happened. All I get is a control line. I think that's normal considering it's CD4 or 5 or something. I don't have to remember what cycle day I am on because the sticks do it for me. Yay.

Note to self (and to you, should you ever visit): do not use the plastic party cup in the bottom drawer of the bathroom cabinet when brushing your teeth. Because I am not the most co-ordinated crayon in the box, I pee in the cup and dip the, you know. Just drink out of the faucet.

Bad Citizen - Bad

I didn't vote today. I told the candidates who came to my house to knock on doors and talk with the constiuents that I would. And then I didn't. I suppose this makes me a liar! Oh no. It's not like I don't care about the relative size of my water bill ($65/month) or the state of our schools (blue ribbon, if you must know). It's just...the polling ends early and it's crowded and half of the races were uncontested.

Oh, and I pinky swore to the HUmane Society that I would take Lisa to the vet within 5 days of getting her and today is day 5, so we had to go to the vet. And she's perfect, by the way. Just as I thought. Apparently, her poop is made of diamonds, she pees liquid gold, and she got a 1600 on her SAT. Although, it is possible that she is allergic to her Hill's Science Diet food. We'll wait and see. But, man, that cat can pass some gas.

Here she is in her 9-pounds 9-ounces of glory....

Did I mention that she likes to hang out in the bath tub and she drinks from the faucet? She's odd. She'll fit right in here.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

New Addition to Our Family

We took the plunge and adopted. She's 8.5 lbs, 20" long, has green eyes, and triangle ears. Oh yeah, and a tail. Her name is Lisa and she's a cat. She seems so active compared to GeriatriCat that we had before. She jumps, sprints, runs, dashes, and makes a break for the door when it's open (retrieved from the garage x3 so far). But she's no kitten. She's almost 3.5 years old. And she wants to be spoiled.

So far, she seems pretty good. She's quiet at night (unlike GeriatriCat who would get senile and scream in the middle of the night until you reminded her who she was and who you were). She eats and drinks, uses her box, and mostly stays off of the counters. We're working on that. She seems generally uninterested in eating our houseplants too, so that's good. She has all her claws, but I have yet to see her bare them.

She rolls over and plays and Chuckles is adorable with her. She seems very tolerant of toddler antics too.

Fun while it lasted

I made it to day 30 of my cycle (approximately) before the bleeding started. Now, when pregnant with Chuckles, my first symptom was bleeding, so while I was diappointed to see red, I wasn't crushed until the single line on the hpt later that night. Oh well. Like I said, it would have felt like cheating to get a baby by having sex with my husband.

But, one thing is nagging at me. 30 days is a pretty typical cycle length for a lot of people, I had a negative LH test at the beginning of the month, and I think I ovulated, so all-in-all, that was a pretty weird month for me, but very normal. I never have cycles like that. It almost makes me think it would be possible to get a baby the old-fashioned way. And a little hope is a dangerous thing. So, while I was at Low*Mart the other day, I bought something called Answer Daily Ovulation Tracker. (And true to their word, Low*Mart's price is lower than's.) Basically you test every day for 20 days looking for your ovulation (20 days is better than 5 or 7 for me, since I really have no idea when I would ovulate if I even do, and it was comparably priced to the 5 and 7-day kits). I start tonight. I wonder if I'll surge and get a positive. I'll probably be on my business trip if I do. That would be so ironically perfect as the husband will not be present.


With frost coming, last weekend we did the harvest. We got about 15 cups of basil which made 6 batches of pesto. We used 3 cups of olive oil, a lot of parmesan cheese, and 30 cloves of garlic. Man, I love pesto.

We also have a ton of green tomatoes and I am making a green tomato stew out of them for dinner tonight. I have no idea what it will taste like, but I did put red wine in it, so it will be good, regardless.