Monday, January 11, 2010

Tolerate the Jingling Bells

Reason for not posting recently: Christmas may be over, but Chuckles just learned that "Jingle Bells" rhymes with "Batman smells" and then we had to search all over because the Joker got away, and we couldn't find him. It was tragic what with all the other things we've been doing lately like getting our flaming jeans off of the power lines* and walking our pram down the street through the snow and ice**.

Bobo is (probably) milk intolerant like Chuckles, and we are idiots. And now he slept through the night, two nights in a row (just shot myself in the foot by posting this...three nights is a trend, two is an abberration). I'll let you know if it continues. But let's just say that any woman who discovers that she might have been sleeping for the previous 6 months if only she had known and doesn't nearly flagellate herself is a robot. If you are a robot, all I have to say to you is: 011100110110001101110010011001010111011100100000011110010110111101110101

I have no idea where I am going with this, so I will just end it here or write a bunch of random crap and see what sticks.

Only 203 days until the Bon Jovi concert.

I lost 10 pounds over the holidays because I weaned Bobo (and I lose the last bit of baby weight while weaning and I kept nursing through Christmas...for the cookies).

My coworker (who I call The Piddler) continues to pee all over the seat (and floor). No New Year's Resolution for him, apparently.

The heat is broken in my work trailer, and it is 59 degress here now. Brisk.

I discovered a website called 'I hate your kids name' (yes, I know it's wrong and petty to mock people, I do know), and I want to come up with fake submittals that would look only too real. You need a lot of extra Ys and Hs and words. How about Pryncyss Yoon'heek (for Princess Unique, which would be a bad enough name even spelled correctly) and Ochocinqo. I do have my Six Simple Rules for Naming Your Child After British Aristocracy, so keep that in mind.

I watched the two-hour season premiere of Chuck last night (another episode tonight). I'm not sure what I think. Not enough spy stuff, maybe. Not enough longing in the relationship arena. Not enough laughs, and they could have done something FUNNY to get Big Mike back at the Buy More instead of what they did with the Emmitt story line, which was not funny.

I watched a little bit of the Bachelor the other night (for the first-time ever) and I feel dirty. And ashamed. And embarrassed on behalf of all women throughout time and history. It was icky. I guess since it's a game and you need to be noticed, you have to...I don't know...whore yourself out, but ick.

Since I weaned, I seem to have stopped spotting from the Mirena (also, by writing this, I have ensured I will start spotting again soon). So, it might end up being a good choice after all. Keep my spotting in mind in case you find yourself looking for post-partum birth control that is safe while nursing. I should've used the mini-pill again (but I was so nervous about a potential supply drop). Eh. What's done is done.

* - Liar Liar, pants on fire, hanging on the telephone wire.
** - Mommy and Daddy, sitting in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage.

Saturday, January 02, 2010

Merry and Bright

Well, Bobo started walking on New Year's Eve. I had high hopes for that night. I figured if it was learning to walk that was screwing with his sleep, then now we should be ....not just good but golden. And I thought it was be karmic or cosmic or something if he slept through since last year on New Year's Eve, he slept through for the first time ever (and what also feels like the last time). But it was not to be.

12:02 am 2010: Welcome to Kabul (bang, pow, explode, bang, pow, boom, ooohhhh, ahhhh, pretty fireworks, BOOM)
12:02:30 Bobo: Wahhhhhh!
1:17 Chuckles: Mama, I hafta go potty and you need to tuck me back in afterward so I will have good dreams.
2:24 Lisa the Chatty Cat: Hork, hork, ((jump)) puke (fortunately, she jumped off the bed and puked on the hardwood floor)
2:25 SarcastiCarrie: scrub scrub scrub the floor
5:30 Bobo: Wahhhhhh!
5:31 SarcastiCarrie: I'll make the bottle if you give it...
5:32 SarcastiCarrie: ZZZZZzzzzzzz
5:35-6:37 Mr. Long-Suffering: Shhhhh, go sleepies. Go sleepies.

And then, I made pancakes and went to the grocery store with only one child and bought some discount champagne. Going places with only one child feels so easy nowadays.

I did nurse on New Year's Day (to get the nice early nap since Bobo got up so early and we had somewhere to be in the early afternoon), so I did my breastfeeding 2008-2010 thing.

Then, we went to a party and watched by alma mateur lose their Bowl Game three times in overtime. It was....exciting and ultimately disappointing. But good. And during the game, I sent a text message (only my second ever) to people who were at the game.

And if I ever find that sumbitch who blew off fireworks for 30 minutes in the middle of the night, so help me, I will put a bottle rocket in each of his pockets and wish him a happy new year.

Wishing you a happy new year (either twenty-ten or two-thousand ten, depending on which side of the debate you happen to support....I am like Switzerland on this important long as you don't say two-thousand and ten, I am fine.).