The SAT Revisited

I don't remember what they're called on the SAT, but those word analogies where banana is to yellow, as orange is to orange, axcept harder and with words like verisimilitude.

Prison:Cigarettes as Work:Donuts
I bought myself $6 worth of donut hole goodwill today. Fifty
Munchkins for $5.99 and the undying love of the Order Entry group. I consider
it an investment in my mental health.

Swaddle:Sleep as Sleep:Sex*
On the last post Julie asked how weaning Bobo off the swaddle was going. Well, there's nothing I like to do more than answer reader questions...and it's pretty easy to do since I only have two readers, one of whom I alienated, so here you go Julie: If it ain't broke don't fix it. I have decided that when/if it becomes a problem, I will deal with it then. Bobo is not about to outgrow his awesome (seriously love them) swaddling blankets. He doesn't fight the swaddle. He likes it. He smiles for it. I guess I just thought that you were supposed to stop. And you are. Eventually. But I still like covers (even in the summer). So, now if he's really asleep, I'll put him in his crib with his swaddling blankie but not in it. It might someday become his lovey this was. And he's taken two naps of 2+ hours unswaddled. So, I think, someday, we'll make the transition. And heck, it might get too warm this summer for swaddling, so we might quit then (or we'll move into a meat locker...one of those two things). *(the answer is, you can't have the second if you're not getting the first)

Bobo is 20 lbs and 28 or 29" long. We use Size Large Kiddopatamus SwaddleMe blankets. We have two in microfleece and two in a t-shirt weight cotton. They are $10-$12 apiece. I bought them all new. And you know how thrifty I am, so I must think these are the bomb to spend over $40 on them. We had one Miracle Blanket which was fine, until Bobo was about 10 weeks old and too long for it. So, for as much as that cost (and it was a gift), it was so not worth it. I also had a SwaddleMe in polarfleece size small which we used alternately with the Miracle Blanket (whichever was in the wash, you know).

Ear Infections:Sleep as Tornadoes:Trailer Parks
I thought I might throw in the towel and start co-sleeping, but then we discovered that Chuckles had an ear infection and he started sleeping again. So, Bobo remains in his crib in a separate room where he has slept every night since coming home from the hospital. Babies are all noisy and grunty in their sleep so I do not want them in my room where I try to get precious sleep. If they sigh, I'll hear them, so no worries.

My Finger:Red as Ocean:Blue
Lisa the Cat has a death wish. She threw up on me at 1:17 am the other morning. Or is that considered night. Anyway. This necessitated that I stagger around the house finding cleaning products and whatnot. I ended up closing my pinky finger in the bathroom cabinet. I exclaimed with an audible M-Effer and developed a heck of a blood blister. So, here I am typing nine-fingered. For you. Because I care.

Bobo:Lizards as My Legs:Fluffy Furry Animals
Bobo got booted from daycare one day not that long ago. Suspected ringworm. Turns out, he has eczema. In the shape of circles. I bought a new cream (Aveeno with the blue cap for dry skin even that caused by eczema) and with thrice daily applications, even his disgusting bloody circle of shame is clearing up. He had this...THING on his neck the size of two quarters that was just raw, like meat. And that is recovering with this cream. I like this cream. This nine-dollar cream. It's good. It's clearing up random spots on his face and legs. Apparently this kid was a little scaly.

Bobo's Poop:Marbles as Baby Chuckles's Poop:Acid Water
Bobo started solids and his poop turned to marbles, so I have taken him off of cereal with formula. I don't know which of those two things was causing the operational slow-down, but one of them was. Since stopping, his poop is still only weekly but it's better. Less screamy, if you know what I mean. So, I guess I can't wean until it's milk time since he can't have formula (or at least not Nestle Good Start, which is the formula we used with Chuckles who had milk protein issues).

Breastfeeding:Bliss as Pumping:Buzzkill
I like breastfeeding well enough, but I hate pumping. So, the thought of needing to keep this up is a little depressing. When I was doing it because I wanted to, that was one thing. But the obligation is a little rougher. Of course, it's not all about me. It's about not wanting Bobo to scream. At me. So, there's that motivation. I'm no where near ready to give it up yet, so that's good, but I've noticed my pumping volume is tapering off a little and I'm starting to dip into my (completely ample) freezer stash. Such is life. I'm sure I could try a different brand or a soy formula or something, but I was hoping not to have to do that, since I get the Good Start for free included with my day care. Maybe I'll take their formula and sell it and buy enfamil or something. Or I'll just keep on keeping on and nursing. I do like being able to eat whatever I want and stay the same weight.

I think I'd like to learn to write haiku and put the next post in that format since this analogy stuff is such a laugh riot. I also have thoughts on Iran's stolen elections, David Letterman's objectification of women, the liberal media, conservatives with no fiscal sensibility, General Motors, my love of the corvette, my desire to buy a boat, the political firing of the Inspector General, political favoritism in college admissions, Mike Pence, earmarks, the end of the era of The Dollar, the crappy way Newsweek reinvented itself with my subscription money, the digital TV conversion (and what is on the TV now with and without a convertor box), the lawsuit I have with the place that nearly killed Chuckles, Chuckles's first school field trip on the big yellow bus, and much more. But it will have to wait for another day. I'm beat and off to bed.