First things first: It was hives as an allergic reaction to Amoxicillin which was treating Baby's Second Ear Infection. His airway was not compromised, and the hives are resolving.
Now onto the main event.
Twenty years ago it was 1989. I think Family Ties was popular as was Guns-N-Roses. My hair was big and so was Kip Winger's. My family had not a lot of money, but I still wanted to be stylish. I had a very large, white pleather hand-me-down purse with only a small ink stain on it. I had a jean skirt. So, my purse wasn't Liz Clairborne and my cologne was Designer Imposters' Primo (for Giorigio), but I was making do.
Everyone was wearing IOU Sweatshirts and Guess? jeans. Other places Cavaricci jeans were big, but in my town, it was Guess? I had one pair of hand-me-down Palmetto jeans which were almost as good as Guess? but they were white and blue pinstripe. I couldn't exactly pull off wearing those every day. I thought about cutting the tag off of the back and sewing it onto my Chic jeans.
One day, my mom, realizing I needed more pants, came home with a new pair of jeans for me. I was so excited. Would they be extra-high-waisted with pleats and taper to a nice, tight ankle...maybe with zippers on the ankles? Well, no. They were not.
They were inky blue whereas I wanted something lighter, something paler, something... splotchier. Perhaps something that had been splattered with bleach or washed with acid. Yes, acid washed, perhaps. They had straight legs. I wanted something more tapered, possibly improbably tapered. Tapered so much you could barely get your foot out of the bottom, possibly making those little ankle zippers a true necessity. I wanted something I could tight roll without too much hassle. I wanted something that would really set my hips off from the rest of me. They had a flat front. I wanted pleats. Lots of big pleats to add extra fabric to my mid-section, really setting my hips off again. Apparently, I wanted to look like a peg-legged pirate. But worst of all, they were from K-Mart. K-Mart did not make Guess? jeans. K-Mart did not sell Z. Cavariccis. K-Mart! Was my mother trying to kill me?
I'm sure I sulked. I am sure I whined. And I know for absolute sure that I washed those jeans in hot hot hot water with detergent and a hint of bleach trying to get them to lighten up a little. And I figured if I used safety pins, just so, that I could get them to tight roll into a taper. And who would notice my tight rolling when I was wearing three pairs of awesome color-coordinating slouch socks? And I figured if I wore my longest aqua blue sweatshirt, maybe no one would notice the lack of pleats and lack of name brand on the pocket. Maybe. I'm pretty sure everyone noticed.
Flash forward to this morning as I was getting dressed in my Kohl's jeans. They are a dark inky blue with a flat front and a wide leg. And I am happy about this. They might be considered "mom jeans". And I needed to make sure I didn't accidentally tuck my boobs into them as I was zipping up. Other than that, all good.