I hereby make this post the place where we can talk about the toddler who was murdered.
The little boy was 16-months old, and his name was Benjamin Kingan. His twin sister , Emily. was in the room when he was murdered. I can't even imagine how this affects the family, including 3-year old brother Jacob.
Apparently, the woman who killed him feels just awful about it. ANd you know what? I don't care how she feels. I try not to judge. It was my Lenten Resolution a few years back (April 200&). I try. But you know what I am doing right now? Judging Judging Judging and condemning. Innocent until proven guilty, whatever. She's admitted to it. The facts are not in question. It's just a question of her sentencing now. If she gets anything lighter than life in prison, I will be terribly terribly disappointed.
So, are you allowed to talk about it with your friends and family or are people just too horrified and you have it all bottled up inside?
And if you work outside the home, does it make you scared that your childcare arrangement isn't as good as you thought it was?
I did ask some questions about a certain caregiver at Chuckles's school after I saw how she treated her own children. She left his school a very short time after that (maybe a week). My priority is my children and there are trade-offs and compromises that I make.
Here is a brain dump of my thoughts....
If you're single, you need to work. Just get the best childcare you can.
If you're married and can afford to and want to stay home, stay home.
If you're married and need the money, work and get the best childcare you can.
If you're married and don't need to work for the money, weigh your options carefully. This is me. I like working. I feel like I'm a better person and a better mother when I work, but if I didn't have good childcare, I would quit in a heartbeat (or I would have my husband quit). If meaningful part-time opportunities existed in my field, I would do that, but they do not exist. I have looked. Oh, how I have looked. And I am in no way judging this family's decision because by all accounts this was a good center and just one rotten, isolated crummy caregiver.
And I am scared that something will happen to my children (in day care, in my care, freak accidents, SIDS, car crashes, genetic defect, in the yard with a stray dog...I have a limitless imagination that trends toward the terrible).
And I have no way to end this post other than to say that I am sending my condolences to the family.