Tuesday, May 19, 2009


Having two children gives me a lot of perspective on what is important and what's what and who's who and all that. Here I will now list vignettes regarding having child(ren) and facts therein.

  • Two months ago, I scheduled the well visits for both kids for the same day. 9:00 for Chuckles. 9:15 for Bobo. We got out of there just before 11:00 this morning. 9 vaccines shots were administered in total. All were correct. I will never schedule two well visits together ever again.
  • Bobo fell off of his growth chart. Bobo needs solids. Bobo thinks taking food off of a spoon is an affront to his babyhood and an injustice. He'd have Amnesty International on speed dial if he could crawl to the phone. So, the good pediatrician said we should brush his gums with our fingers or a toothbrush and then try again with something tasty. So, today, we did sweet potatoes with oatmeal after scrubbing his mouth and that boy ate it up. Woot! Growth curve here we come! On average, he was eating four half-meals of solids per week. He is apparently supposed to be eating 3 meals plus a snack every day. Ha ha ha ha. OK, so we'll get on that.
  • If Bobo was my first child and fell off of the growth chart, I would be googling and frenzied. Instead I am blogging to let you know I had no idea who much he was "supposed" to be eating. I am mellow. He'll be fine. He's still pushing 20 pounds. He'll be fine. No problems.
  • As a second-time mom, I know there is no such thing as "supposed to" when it comes to kids. They do what they do and you just guide them and kep them safe. You can lead a baby to the breast, but you can't make him latch. Ditto that, spoon.
  • I am sure Bobo will be fine. Although he has a fever. Which I am sure is nothing. Although lab results were being faxed in to the ped's office confirming swine flu on other kids. But it's quite common where I live right now so not particularly worrying. Bobo just has a cold or a slight reaction to the vaccines. He'll be fine. He had a bit of a double-barrelled snot faucet before we went (no fever though).
  • Chuckles has developed a fake limp in reaction to his vaccines and he demanded medicine. Faker. Actor. Drug-seeker. That's my boy. Monday morning he woke up with a sore throat. I checked it out with my otoscope (what? you don't have an otoscope at home? all the truly neurotic moms have one...got it on amazon). It looked red but not serious. Doctor also commented on the size of his tonsils and the redness but said it didn't look like strep - keep an eye on it, etc.
  • The other day I was at work and something worked and I had been working on this little bit of programming for a year - I kid you not. And it worked. And I walked around my trailer getting high-fives from all the other engineers who were impressed and wanted to know how I did it and they were congratulating me. I was a rock star.
  • Another day at work, I was having a bad day but I got to writing an important email and 5 o'clock came along and I hit 'save to drafts' and left. Mid-sentence, I left work. Laptop shut, light off. Baby's gotta eat, so I gotta go. (Although in retrospect, I guess he should have been eating solids without me.) This is priorities. Kids before work. I told this story to some other people (parents) at work and they were really impressed with my ability to shift gears between home and work. I don't know whether they know my secret...by 5 pm, my chest is ready to rain milk down on my keyboard, so leaving seems like the best option.
  • Chuckles has discovered some of the ultimate stalling tactics: getting into bed and saying he wants to put his toys away. I'm a suck for some cleaning up, but I don't let you get out of bed, so there's an impasse. We'll get through it.
  • Bobo can roll tummy-to-back and back-to-tummy. He has done each multiple times. He prefers not to do so. He's much happier on his back with some toys dangling above him or on his stomach looking around. Movement is for losers. I know at this age Chuckles was using rolling over-and-over as a means of locomotion (to go behind the TV and get at the wires). Bobo prefers that toys are brought to him. Kids. They are all different.
  • I am haunted by the realization that I gave Bobo the wrong name. He is such a fat and benevolent king. I feel that - if I had to give him a clown name, which I did - I should have named him Happy The Clown. I am sure I will be haunted forever with the knowledge that Bobo is really Happy. When I think of him in my mind, I refer to him as Happy. When I look at him, all I see is Happy. It's terrible. As Bobo, he is named after some other clowns in the family (and really, Mr. Long-Suffering's uncles are clowns), but Happy is just a name that fits. Oh well.
  • I got the Mirena IUD at 7 weeks post-partum just as the lochia has started to stop. However, because of the Mirena, I have bled every day for the last 6 months. I am nursing around-the-clock. I should be enjoying my lactational ammenorhea. But instead, I am using pantyliners like I own stock in the company that makes them. I am not happy about this. After Chuckles, once the 8 weeks of post-partum bleeding ended, I did not bleed again until he was 17 months old - 5 months after he was completely weaned. Oh well. After Chuckles, I would have been thrilled to get pregnant again easily (OK, not true. I just lied to you. I would have been scared to death because I hadn't slept through the night until he was almost 2 and the thought of having another one do that to me would have sent me into a panic attack. Little did I know I was going to have Happy - the Sleeper Monkey.) Anyway, Mirena - my thoughts are mixed. I'm not pregnant (yay!) but I could have just taken the pill and not bled - Bigger Yay!
  • Bobo only poops every 5 to 7 days. I hadn't changed a poop diaper since I went back to work. They send the nasty clothes home from day care in a plastic bag. I throw them away (because he is pretty much out of the 9 month clothes anyway, I don't need them any more). Yesterday before work, he pooped. I changed it. And I didn't get any on his clothes. Woo Hoo. I liked that outfit, so I am really glad I didn't need to burn it.
  • We have thrown a party at our house every weekend for the last 3. Chuckles's birthday, Mother's Day brunch (any excuse to drink champagne out of my Waterford crystal while eating quiche), and Sunday's party of random people who couldn't make it to either of our last two parties. A good time was had by all, but I think Chuckles is starting to think we're going to have people over all the time because he wants to know what kind of party we're having this weekend. Coincidentally, it's Memorial Day so we will probably be going to some kind of paty this weekend. I'm sure my party animal will be thrilled. Of course, when he says it, it comes out as "party aminal", which is super cute.
  • I got my review at work. I was told that I am free with the information that I know and have. I am of the "teach a man to fish" school of thought. My boss thinks that's great. My husband thinks it means I am too lazy to do things for others. Looks like a win-win-win situation. There will be no raise though, something about global financial collapse and a drying up of the order book and 30% capacity, and well, I'm sure you know the rest.

And a Happy Memorial Day to you.

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