I was all sure how I was going to tell you, dear readers. I was going to title the post "I am your sister-in-law" and then the post would be a photo of two pink lines showing that I was all fertile and pregnant after just one month of (ahem) not-exactly-trying. First time we tried!!!
But alas, that's not how this post is going to roll.
Today is Cycle Day 35, aka new Cycle Day 1. I could've saved a buck and the dollar store test I took this morning if only I'd waited. I even have a rule about not testing before CD35 for just this reason (it will usually be obvious before I would get to the test).
But I'm not really disappointed...for a variety of reasons. The first is that I got my husband a wave runner for Fathers' Day. I would be mighty bummed if I couldn't ride it this weekend. (A wave runner is like a jet ski but you sit down on it.) The second is that I am going on "vacation" with my in-laws in a few weeks, and I would really like to spend most of the week slightly intoxicated (or on the wave runner...and stone cold sober).
The third is that I am highly ambivalent about a third baby. I want one, but if I don't get one, I will be A-OK and just fine. Really. I swear. We aren't even really trying. I can prove it! I have a prescription for progeterone suppositories in my purse, and I haven't even filled it (yet?). I own a fertility monitor, and I am not using it. I didn't take an OPK or my temperature this month. I only had marital visitation with my husband when I wanted to, not when the stick, the clock, the calendar, or the doctor told me to.
A word to the wise, women who are not taking The Pill have wild desire and mood fluctuations during a cycle, whoah. I guess I have never before in my life had an ovulatory cycle where I was not actively trying to get pregnant so this was crazy new. I'm starting to understand things like why women joke about PMS and mid-month libido. I've never known that before, and it's really amazing. I'm a little jealous that I never got to experience this before.
The 4th reason I am not bummed is that getting pregnant this month would've put me with a due date in February (my 36th birthday, actually). I would prefer to take my maternity leave over the summer. I know that infertile women don't usually indicate a preference, but if a teacher can say she's aiming for a summer baby, a not-really trying woman can say she'd prefer to give birth April - June. Beggars can't be choosers, but I ain't begging.
Lastly, I am taking prenatal vitamins because it's just a good idea for a woman who is not using any birth control to do that sort of thing responsibly. I am prudent. What I am not is pregnant.