I tried

I just tried to post pictures of me as a 9-months pregnant hippopotamus and one-day post-partum attempting to nurse a teeny weeny baby on an enormous, engorged teat, but blogger keeps crashing mid-download, so trust me on two things:

1. By 9.5 months, I was so large, I was unable to reach my own nether parts to cleanse myself properly after using the facilities. I tried around front, around back, leaning to the side, throwing paper at it from the corners, and so on, but I just couldn't reach. Eventually, I just decided I'd fix it up in the shower.
2. You might think your breasts are large, but oh, ho ho, they are NOT big until you actually fear your H-cup will suffocate your child, whose head circumference was 14" and yet looks surprisingly small in comparison to your, ahem, motherly orb.