It is far easier to ignore my blog than to figure out how to sum up the last month. But I’m going to fill you in.
I went on “vacation” with my in-laws, who are lovely people, but are not my parents. Hence, things with them are just different. And it’s OK (sometimes tense, sometimes passive-aggressive) but OK. However, at a certain point, a certain 2-year old’s meltdowns coincided with my husband announcing that he was going fishing for 5 hours 5 minutes from now (not asking, but proclaiming) first thing in the morning after I had gotten 4 hours of sleep because of various child-related overnight waking things, and I had my first-ever bout of PMS. And I lost it. I lost my shit all over the place. It was not pretty. In fact, I had never actually hissed anything before.
My husband and I have been married almost 10 years. We had never up until that “vacation” had a fight before. We had disagreed about things, but never what I would classify as a fight. I stormed off the next morning with the kids. I took them to McDonald’s for pancakes and then the pharmacy since Bobo developed some kind of rash. I had actually contemplated putting them in the car and driving them home by myself. That’s when I knew I was blowing things out of proportion. Royally.
And wouldn’t you know the next time I went to the restroom, I had my period (and had not packed in a vacation supply of “supplies”). Yay! It was Cycle Day 25 and was one of the most classic PCOS periods evah! It lasted 2 weeks, which is super awesome, was gone for a couple of days, and then came back. For good measure.
I guess my husband was mad at me after my outburst, for which I refused to apologize because, really, who leaves during a child’s tantrum when I’m supposed to be on “vacation”? So I didn’t apologize, and he didn’t talk to me for two weeks. It was all pretty gruesome. Eventually, I apologized for overreacting. We have resolved that we have a difference of opinion as to how vacations should be spent.
Mostly, he thinks he’s on vacation and should get to relax and he thinks I should dump our kids with his parents so I can spend my time alone.
Except, I want to spend my vacation spending time as a family since in our real lives we get very few chances to do that. And I don’t want to be alone because I work in a building by myself all day and commute to and from work by myself. I spend a ridiculous amount of time by myself as it is. I want to spend time with my husband and children on vacation. And if children are going to be dumped upon my in-laws, I really think it is my husband who should do the dumping because they are his parents.
So, our “vacation” usually involves him going off to relax by himself to do whatever he wants to do and me taking care of both kids by myself in the Northwoods of Wisconsin without the benefit of our normal toys or routines.
So, we’re not sure how to get past this, but this is the 10th or 11th time I have gone on this vacation and the longer we have kids, the worse this gets because the work load on me increases every year. Potty accident overnight…I’m washing sheets out in the sink and hanging them over the railing of the cabin’s deck so the kids have somewhere to sleep the next night. I keep telling myself (every single year) that it’s just one week and I need to suck it up because this is the only thing my husband looks forward to all year, and yet, I hate it so much, I don’t know how I can possibly go back next year (and we’re already booked for next year since he reserved our spot when he paid the bill).
It’s an agree to disagree kind of scenario. Oh, and I had dreams this year, since we bought the waverunner, of me just hopping on the waverunner while he was out and taking the kids on long rides, except it was so cold and rainy that it just wasn’t possible much of the time...nor was the park, the nature center, the guided nature walk, the wildlife rehab center. The only fun indoor thing I found was a hotel that would let you pay to go to their pool. That was a blast.
So, great and powerful readers, how would you resolve this conflict? (Note: I only get 3 weeks of vacation so taking another week-long family vacation is not going to happen because my vacation time is used for the first day of school, the class parties, field trips, parents' programs at school, volunteering in the classroom, Christmas, and covering the nanny's vacation days.)