Thursday, April 14, 2011


There are two lots near my home that are vacant except for the pumping station in the corner hidden by some shrubbery.  My town, in a fit of neighborhood beautification, put in a couple of benches and a sign on the corner calling it a "park".  Lamest park ever.  No walking track, no playground, no tot lot, and surrounded by detached garages and an insurance office.  But sure, it's nice insofar as there are no buildings on the two lots and it is green-space.

The other day, we were driving past this "park", and the following conversation occurred in my car.

Chuckles (drolly):  That looks like a fun park.
Mr. Long-Suffering (touching the top of Chuckles's head like some kind of faith healer): The sarcasm, it is strong in this one.
Me (blushing and beaming proudly):  He gets that from me.

(And yes, yes, I understand that in America the punctuation mark is supposed to go inside the quotation marks, but you know what? That doesn't make sense outside of the she says comma open quotes capital-Go ahead period close quotation marks usage.  When one single word is in quotes and the period is not a part of the direct quote, it doesn't make sense.  Oh sure, you could say that these are rules for clarity,and we're just supposed to follow them.  But then I would say, "Rules are made to be broken." And I might call you a "sheep".  I'm a rule-breaker.  What can I say?)

Also, the doctor's office called and either my foot is not broken or the fracture is too small to be seen on x-ray (that clears it right up, no?).  Orthopedist appointment tomorrow! 

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


This morning, Chuckles woke up and came bounding down the steps into the kitchen where I was making my lunch.
Chuckles: I woke up and wrote a song, do you want to hear all about it?
Me: Oh absoluterly, my superspecial snowflake, tell mummy all about it.  Uh huh, go'head.
Chuckles: Well, it's called "Everything is Better with a Cherry on Top".
Me: ((I have now died from the cute and am laying on the floor.)) Oh, please sing it for me.
Chuckles: La-la-la-la, singing singing a song I wrote, blah blah blah.


So, the big job title realignment and standardization?  Yes?  Well, it was official on April 1st, and we were all to be notified in person by our managers by Close of Business on the 8th.  I'm still waiting for my meeting.  Efficiency!  And adherence to self-imposed standards!  Did you my trusty coworkers have your meetings yet?

Many moons ago, I wrote that I was doing/did Couch-to-5k.  Well, back in the fall, I ran 2 races.  I signed up for an 8k back in January.  8k is about (roughly) 4.97 miles.  A little over 2 weeks ago, I went out for a leisurely 6-mile training run (as if there is such a thing).  Two hours after I got home, I was hobbling around becuase my left (or sinister) foot hurt quite a bit.  I took 10 days off of running, went on two short practice runs last week of 2-3 miles each just to make sure everything was OK.  It was.

This past Sunday was the Shamrock Shuffle.  I ran 4.97 miles with 40,000 of my closest personal friends (in the hottest temperatures we had seen in 6 months).  Thousands came out to cheer me on.  All those signs that said "Go MOM Go"?  They were for me. 

Around the 4-mile mark, I realized something in my foot had snapped or broken, but I was already 80% of the way done and the pain was not unbearable, and it didn't actually affect my ability to run at all, so I finished (61 seconds below my goal time!) and ahead of about 8,000 people.  However, I landed myself at the doctor's office and subsequently radiology yesterday on suspicion of a stress fracture.   So now?  I'm just sitting at my desk, drinking some lukewarm tea (decaf green), waiting for the doctor to call, and having my youthful coworkers fetch my documents from the printer.  I'm in a rolling chair too, so I can get around my office if need be.

The human body doesn't want to run 5 miles is the lesson I learned.  I think I make a much better 5k runner than half-marathoner.  So, there you go.  Takeaway lesson:  you don't get stress fractures being a sloth who watches TV.  Is it Must-See-TV Friday yet?

Tuesday, April 05, 2011


I am so excited to learn that we all work together.  It's like, "OMG!  Meet you in the break room for lunch!"

While we're eating lunch, we can discuss strategy, team build, and explore our interdepartmental relationships so that we can actualize synergies and capture the economies of scale we've all heard so much about.  During these trying, difficult times of opportunity, we should not let our sense of urgency waiver.  It's during economic times such as these that we can realize greater efficiencies and improve our market share as we bring key resources back on line as demand for our Random Three-Letter Acronym product rebounds. 

I want each and every one of us to come together to be proactive, not reactive, to put our customers and stakeholders first.  We need to continue to improve our on-time delivery performance while not sacrificing our corporate commitment to safety, quality, and sustainability.  Let us look forward to the future to explore new strategic partnerships to bring additional value to our brand. 

Also, I believe a memo came out letting us know that we are to cooperate fully with Scott Adams and Tom Fishburne as they occupy the cube on the left aisle about half-way down near the coffee pot.  

I also found this on the most ludicrous job interview questions ever, and I wanted to share with all my new coworkers.  So, don't get fired, but I am pretty sure the answer to the first question is ONE, but the more interesting question is what is the smallest MAXIMUM number of guesses it could take.

I did want to tell you that my kids are awesome.  However, "school" is still kicking my rear-end.  There is so much parental involvement in "school" (and I am not talking about homework and reading to my child, etc) that it is really a drag on me.  It's the system.  The special formatting of envelopes that return items to school (order forms, permission slips, signing homework to prove my kid read to me, and really, a standardized way of writing envelopes?!?!), the gym shirt with child's name written on front and back in letters 2-3" high, fall and spring picture day, spirit day, wear a hat day, wear funny socks day.

Also, they don't send home paper report cards any more.  And as far as I can tell, they no longer assign letter grades (at least not in kindergarten like they did when I was a kid).  The parents are supposed to log into the computer system and view their child's performance relative to state standards.  It is 'graded' as met or did not meet.  And there are about 100 categories of things that are checked from specific information (tie shoes, recognize numbers 1-31, write own name, etc) to Successful Learning Behaviors (listens attentively, respects adults, etc).  I'm finding it all stressful and draining.  That said, Chuckles likes school enough, we've moderated some of his annoying behaviors, and he's doing fine.  That's good. 

But school is killing me.  And don't even get me started on the PTO.  I volunteer, I swear.  I would even volunteer more if any of the opportunities were outside the hours of 8:30 am to 4:30 pm.  Oh, sure, there was an opportunity to volunteer at the fun fair but the planning meeting was Tuesday at 10 am.  And just let me write you a check.  A nice big one.  I don't want any Market Day, wrapping paper, Scholastic Books, spring term school photos, overpriced bags of popcorn, coupon books, happy ads on the announcements, or raffle tickets for an ipod touch.