Wednesday, April 18, 2007

My Brain is Mush, but you get what you paid for

Well, there is lots happening here (actually, there is not, but I feel busy).

The replacement bed is being delivered tomorrow in a random 2-hour window which I have not been given yet.

We are leaving on a "vacation" on Friday. We are taking a toddler on an airplane (and it won't be nap time). This vacation will bring us to The Grand Canyon eventually. We hope to go to the cantilevered skywalk over the canyon, but apparently this is a controversial thing. I have no idea why. If you know why this is controversial, please tell me. I thought everything about the canyon was commercial now and Indian Tribes doing things to make a buck seems fairly typical to me too.
Access to The Skywalk will run from dawn to dusk and will cost $25 per person in
addition to the cost of a Grand Canyon West entrance package. One hundred
and twenty people will be allowed on the bridge at a time. Admittance is
first come, first serve for walk up visitors; however, reservations can be
made. Guests will enter and exit the walkway via temporary buildings while
the adjacent visitor’s center is being completed. Grand Canyon West plans to
issue numbered shoe covers – in order to avoid scratches and slipping - to
each visitor that enters the open-air walkway.

This "vacation" involves me entertaining young CHuckles on a four-hour flight. I also need to bring soy milk (a liquid) through security. He'll also need lunch, books, exciting toys, a change of clothes, diapers, wipes, and on and on. I've made two lists. One called "diaper bag" and the other called "suitcase" so I don't forget something important (like DING).

Also, I have no idea what this sentence from teh TSA is supposed to be saying: "Therefore, you any liquid, gel, or aerosol purchased such as coffee or soda in the secure area after you process through a security checkpoint is allowed aboard your plane." There is no limit on breast milk or formula if you have teh child with you, but what about soy milk? Should I just pack the formula as a powder and not worry about it?

And a helpful hint in case you are an idiot: "NEVER leave babies in an infant carrier while it goes through the X-ray machine."

And we will be traveling at lunch time, so I need to pack a lunch because Chuckles has some food issues, but maybe I could just bring fruit for him and buy him some chicken McNuggets. I mean, a trip to McDonald's will not actually kill him. Just me.

Speaking of killing me, CHuckles tried to kill me at least four times in the last week. Just so you know, EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE here. Chuckles let us know that from midnight to 5 am the other night. The crying - oh, the crying. He got up for teh day at 2 am on Sunday. Monday night was good. He only got up twice and one time was yelling I WANT MILK, so I pretty much nailed that on on teh first try. Last night, he slept through and I feel as if I could form a complete sentence today. Yesterday, though, he tried to stab me in teh eye with a pen. He tried to fool me into thinking he was going to take a nap by saying, "Chuh seepy, bankie, lay down, take nap, seepy nigh night mommy" and laying down on a pile of pillows, so I laid down with him and closed my eyes when BAM a pen to the eye. So, I am not falling for that again and we are once again driving in the car for a nap where I have my back to him and he is strapped into the car where he cannot reach me.

I have been stripping 6 coats of paint from our main bathroom vanity. Fun times. Good stuff. Someoen asked me if it was lead paint. Well, shit, I hope not. So, out of irrational fear, I have stopped all sanding projects and have decided to live with my bathroom in a state of semi-squalor while I look for a way out of this problem. New vanity = $1200, which I don't have (re: unemployment). This is all part of the great bathroom remodel, which was WAY more expensive than I ever planned, so I had to scale back my plans and decided to do some things myself. I need help with this and my MIL offered, so I will be milking that for what it is worth.

At Mother Goose today, a girl handed me a book and sat down in my lap and asked me to read, so I looked at her mother for approval and I read. Chuckles let this happen. He did not freak out, so perhaps, he only freaks if it's a boy in my lap or he's growing out of it secure in teh knowledge that I love him best. Oh, and he learned how to do "Cheers" with his sippy cup at the dinner table whilst Dada and I drink copious quantities of wine to make teh exhaustion-induced headaches go away. Perhaps I should put wine in teh sippy cup to help him sleep better (just kidding, all you readers from DCFS, just kidding, ha ha, it's a joke...yes yes yes it's a lame one, but again, no sleep).

Also, I feel like a fraud when reading Working Mother magazine now.

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