Sunday, September 16, 2007


It's almost 8 am on Sunday morning. I have been up for almost 4 hours. BUT, our child is not here. We left him with Grandma and Grandpa overnight, so now I am waiting for my husband to wake up so we can go get Chuckles. I HATE leaving him on teh weekends because we get so little time with him as it is this feels like abandonment, but I am sure G&G are giving him plenty of attention.

So, why was I up even though I had the opportunity to sleep? I don't sleep well. Period. Chuckles has disrupted my natural sleep patterns in lasting ways. And I never really was a great sleeper. I like sleep, but I can't always do it.

We went to visit a couple with a new baby yesterday (and hence left the germ factory of a toddler with the Gs). Their baby sleeps A LOT. My husband said that what they are doing must be right and what we did wrong since their baby sleeps A LOT. Uhhh, how about they are different kids with different temperments? I mean, I have resolved with myself that Chuckles is who he is and how he sleeps is a big part of his personality. I am sure it would be nice to have a baby who sleeps A LOT, but it seemed to me that their baby was not alert. We were there for 8.5 hours and I am not kidding you but the baby was awake with eyes open for about 15 minutes. Even then she didn't really seem interested in much. As a tiny baby, Chuckles was AWAKE. I'm AWAKE. Here I am, entertain me. I am AWAKE and ALERT. See how cute I am! I mean alert. For 11 hours a day as an infant. In fact in the hospital at two days old, the nurses told me they couldn't have in the nursery because he was so alert and needed his mother for interaction AT 3 AM right after I had a C-SECTION and needed MY SLEEP. It was (and continues to be) draining.
I have resolved somewhat not to complain anymore about the sleep and just chalk it up to his personailty, but when you are in the car and your husband, the one who is supposed to be on your side, basically blames you for setting your son up for a lifetime of disrupted sleep (and consequently disrupted sleep for your husband), it's pretty hard not to take it personally. Oh and what did he think I did wrong? Breastfeeding. He thinks bottle feeding would be far superior to breastfeeding for encouraging consolidated sleep (never mind that the human race is designed to have babies wake frequently during the night so they don't forget to breathe before their nervous systems are developed or that babies are designed to breastfeed (by God or evolution, whatever)) even though he is wrong.
It's hard not to take it personally when you feel you are being attacked for doing what you honestly believe is right. Oh well.
I guess we'll chalk this up to "fights we don't need to resolve unless we're actually going to have another baby".

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