Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Fun & Sexy Stuff

Rule #1: There will be no sexy stuff at my house as I am on pelvic rest due to the spotting issue. I was on pelvic rest entire 1st trimester with Chuckles so this is not entirely unexpected. Mr. Long-Suffering is suitably amused, I assure you.

Rule #2: There will be no sexy stuff at my house as I have basically lost bladder control. Only in the morning or overnight when the progesterone is in, so I think it has something to do with the relaxing effect progesterone has on muscles. Or something. But still. Please tell me I am not in for 7 more months of seven drops leaking out. I must do Kegels, but I am not entirely sure I am doing them right. I am just stopping the flow whilst urinating right now. Hopefully, that is enough. Let us never speak of this again, and for the love of me, do not tell a joke. Got it?

Rule #3: There is no rule number three.

Rule #4: If you come to visit me at my house, bring dinner, but make sure it has absolutely no scent whatsoever because I am queasy all the time. Always. Right now, in fact. And first thing this morning, and last thing last night. And I used to think it was nice that the deli counter smells like fried chicken, but now I just want to hold my breath and run (which is not a winning combination as running is an aerobic (or air-loving) activity).

Rule #5: Leave me sleeping wherever you find me UNLESS it is my bedtime, in which case wake me up and tell me to go to bed. When I told my husband this, he thought I was nuts, but I reminded him that I take my vitamins and do my progesterone before bed, so I really need to go to bed. Even though I am asleep already. Note: I fell asleep on the couch today after lunch while reading Chuckles a book for the third consecutive time. Man and boy let me sleep (for like an hour!) right there on one couch cushion.

Rule #6: Meals are what you make of them, and if you are me and keeping food down, so much the better. Lunch today was tater tots (mmmm, so good) and pineapple chunks. Breakfast was oatmeal. Who knows what dinner will bring? I'd just like to give a Shout Out to Ore'Ida tater tots which I doubt I have had since childhood, but why oh why not, they were so good. Mr. L-S is really enjoying this because I never let us eat like this. Hot hot right out of the oven tater tots with ice cold ketchup. Chuckles had some off of my plate and commented that he "love thems". Too cute.

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