Thursday, July 31, 2008

When life gives you lemons, make Lemonade


1 part placenta previa
1 part pregnancy after infertility
1 lemon
2 parts water
1/2 cup sagar
3 quarts vodka

Mix and drink. Repeat.

I find that I am a more prolific blogger when I am neurotic. If you like to read my blog, recent events are good news for you. If you don't, then maybe you should just go away now, k?

Moving on. I bought Chuckles the Graco Nautilus 3-in-1 car seat for my car. I love it. He loves it. It's a win-win-win-win all around. So I want to buy another one for our other car. But the price at amazon is up $40 from what I paid. I check it every day, and every day it has a different price (always, so far, higher than the price I paid in June). I think Tuesday has always been the lowest price of the week. So, I will continue to follow it. I wish I could just put in a limit order or a Dutch auction bid that would say BUY BUY BUY if it gets down to $130 (currently priced at $169.99 but I paid $127 for it).

Question: How old is a child, usually, when their feet start to smell like feet?
Answer: About 3, if wearing rubber Spiderman sandals with bare feet and it is over 90 degrees

Question: How far along are you?
Answer: 24 weeks today. And grateful for every completed week.

Question: How does an almost-six-months-pregnant woman keep cool in 90-degree heat?
Answer: By having no shame. SarcastiCarrie can be quoted thusly, "Mom, Chuckles really wants to come over and visit his Mimi (and swim in her pool)." Mimi, obviously, had no choice but to invite us over after this blatant self-invitation to her pool.

Question: Why did you even buy the Size Medium khaki cargo maternity pants when you know dang well you're not a medium?
Answer: Hormones. They were only $2 at the Salvation Army, and I got 2-months wear out of them, and I'll fit back into them on my way down, and the Size L pants are still a little bit too big, so it would have been laughable two months ago. And shut up, ok.

Question: If you thought you were so hot as to be a medium, why are you wearing a size XL maternity bathing suit that clearly does not fit?
Answer: I held out in my regular suit as long as I could, but the gash now makes bikinis unsightly. Besdies, the suit was a hand-me-down from my sister, and I am too cheap to buy a maternity suit and I am kind of icked out about getting one secondhand from not-my-sister. Hence, we have a problem. Although the end-of-the-summer is upon us, I could probably pick one up on clearance now. I'll jump out to Old Navy online and be right back.

Twenty bucks at Old Navy (and good luck finding a top and bottom that are the right size and same pattern since they are all on clearance and sold as separates). Seems a wee bit pricey to me for a suit I will only wear a few times. Let's see, where else can I try. JC Penney has suits sold as suits for $20 too, but no weird looking for same pattern/size combo there. And the suit is nicer. Let's see what else. Kohl's has nada. Carson Pirie Scott has zippo. MOtherhood has ugly suits for $20. Gap has a one-piece for $15 but it's not very flattering. I need a little something to distract the eye, if you know what I'm saying. THe suit is a little plain. Target - $35. A Pea in the Pod - what was I thinking? THey are mega-pricey. Lo*Mart $19, not ugly. Free shipping to store or go to the store on my way home and buy it. Maybe. I don't really need a second suit. Maybe I can just throw some safety pins on the XL suit I have and call it done.

Question: Safety pins??? Are you really that cheap and ((insert name of a certain former Eastern bloc peoples))?
Answer: I guess I could sew it instead of pinning it.


  1. So with you on the "illfitting maternity clothes." None of mine fit because I was too damn cheap to really shop around. (You appear to be quite tall, or I'd send you all my inexpertly cut off ones).

    Sending good thoughts on the previa -- one of my best friends had it and it moved, miraculously, the week before she was to have a c-section.

    Anyhoo, hi--I always see your comments on Ask Moxie and giggle and today it occured to me "If her name is blue, she probably has a blog, genius."And hooray.

    (also, are you a fellow person of Polishness?)