Why I cry

I've been crying a lot lately. Probably more than I should. But, the good news is I still smile every day. If I didn't, I'd be calling my primary care physician and getting some help (do I even have a doctor now since I changed insurance plans twice in teeh last 3 months?). Anyway, I cry. A lot. Christmas is over, so you'd think it would be getting better, but it's holding steady.

I think I cry because I have an unrealistically high expectation of myself and others.

For example, before Chuckles was born, I registered for things that I thought we would need. I brought the Consumer Reports book with me to Babies R Us when I registered, which I why I was not surprised to learn that the Graco SnugRide infant car seat was found to be very good according to the recent reports. The hospital gave us an Evenflo Discovery car seat when Chuckles was born and I never let him ride in it because it only had a cheap 3-point harness and it never fit him quite right (he needed a bigger baby butt to sit flat in the seat), so let's say I also was not surprised that this car seat ejected the baby from the car or something. Whew. I gave that car seat to someone too. Hope he read the reports and has stopped using it for his daughter.

I have talked to other people who registered for car seats and they had never looked at the car seat ratings. They picked car seats by which car seat fit their stroller and had the fabric pattern that matched their stroller, high chair, and pack-n-play. I am shocked. I picked a car seat first. Then I found a stroller that went with that. Then, I went with the cheapest pack-n-play I could find (and it doesn't match anything else since when was the last time you pulled your stroller up to your pack-n-play or set your car seat in your high chair...plus by the time you need a high chair at 4 or 5 months, the kid has probably already outgrown the 26" height limit on the infant carrier) that hadn't been recalled for safety reasons due to flawed design. Then, months later, we bought a high chair at a second hand store (after reading reviews on them). So, I guess I am shocked that other people aren't as concerned as I am about safety and everything, so maybe this is why I don't sleep at night and they do. Lack of sleep also makes me cry.

By the way, I need to get rid of my pack-n-play (it's like a play pen for you who don't know). My child will not and has not ever slept in it really. He did as a newborn, but not since. Hates it. When we travel, I wad a comforter up and put it on the floor for him. Works OK. Not great, but ok.