So, Hi, this is Carrie Sarcastic and I am so thankful that you gave me the
opprotunity to be so dorky for you. I am so appreciative. Thanks so
very much for all your time. I know you are so busy and so
important. It really means a lot to me because I am so much a loser.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
- Right Arm
- Left Arm
- Right Leg
- Left Leg
- Right Elbow
- Left Elbow
- Front Side
- Back Side
- Whole Self
And finish is up with the "You do the Hoooooooo-Key Pokey" verse.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Taliban attempted to kill Veep Cheney...but they failed, so I guess the War on Terror is working. Also, this helped bring on the stock slump, so yay to my IRA.
Anna Nicole still dead...but I think I am Daniellyne's real father.
Taxes not due until April 18th this year...so I have three exra days to blog instead of doing our taxes.
Some Organic Baby Food recalled....good thing we only buy regular baby food with all the fertilizers and pesticides.
Mother trained her kids to feign retardation so she could collect disability benefits on behalf of her children...do you think I could do that?
Anyway, this is an older Thomas book. The pictures are actual photographs of train layouts. It's not the new Thomas books that are mass-produced drawing of choo-choos. These characters are older, more grizzled, more likeable, more real. It's also very British. All the engines chuff this and chuff that. They get cross with one another, and when they are happy, everything is splendid.
Here are some excerpts from the book:
Then-along came Sir Topham Hatt, the man in charge of all the engines on theThat really does sound like the man in charge, doesn't it. I'd like to point out, that by the 20th time through the story in one sitting, I refer to the Island of Sodor as the Island of Sodomy. It's just "funner" that way, but with lines like these, I can't help it.
Island of Sodor.
"We will pull you out," said Sir Topham Hatt. But Henry only blew
steam at him.
Everyone pulled except Sir Topham Hatt. "Beacause," he said, "my
doctor has forbidden me to pull."
"Ooh! I'm stiff, I'm stiff," he groaned.
"Pull hard. We'll do it. Pull hard. We'll do it," they puffed together.
"We've done it together. We've done it together," said Edward and
Sir Topham Hatt leaned out of the window to wave at Edward and Henry, but the train was going so fast that his hat blew off into a field where a goat ate it for tea.
So, I love this book. It's got humor on many levels. It actually has a plot. The characters are likeable, and the pictures are incredibly detailed. I keep thinking about the person who designed the model railroad and how could I get that job.
So thumbs down to new Thomas. Thumbs up for Old Thomas.
Also, I bought some "classic" Clifford the Big Red Dog books on e-bay (along with some Little Golden Books). Love them. Hate the new, inane Clifford books we have. Am thinking of "losing" them when we're out one day.
Oh my gosh, I was just adding the link to the book on amazon, when I discovered that Thomas Gets Tricked is available on VHS starring Ringo Starr, Michael Angelis, George Carlin, and Alec Baldwin. Isn't George Carlin the seven words you can't say on TV guy? How did he wind up in kiddie videos?
Apparently, the photos in the book are acutally stills from the movie. See, it's educational here.
Tonight, we are having whole wheat pasta with pesto and Italian vegetables. I will be broiling a steak and cutting it on the bias to serve atop the pasta. Since pesto is mostly cheese, I am going to cover Chuckles's noodles with green baby food (peas, green beas, or best of all - brocolli and chicken). He loves pesto, but I'm not going to give him cheese right now that we are working on making him more tolerant.
Wednesday, we will be consuming leftovers from what I made over the weekend.
Thursday, we are having boneless skinless chicken breast stir fried with broccolli, garlic and onions, and Udon noodles. I am serving the whole thing in a homemade asian peanut sauce that I saw on Real Simple (and there is the same recipe on the top of my peanut butter jar).
I'm taking suggestions for Friday.
Saturday or Sunday will be some kind of roast something or other.
That's it for now.
I'm just back from my ride. Here is an excerpt from the conversation leading up to the ride:
Me: "Are you sleepy?"
Me: "Do you want to take a nap?"
Chuckles: "No! No! No!"
Me: "Do you want to go for a ride in Mommy's big truck?"
Chuckles: "Yesh, big truck."
So put that in your pipe and smoke it though an emission controlled filter.
Hugs and Kisses,
Today, I got a new tire. Wheeeee. I'm a girl who sure knows how to live.
Yesterday, I would not let Chuckles put dice in his mouth ( I know, I am so mean). Anyway, after insulting him like this, he called very seriously for his choo-choo cup and ding (aka Blankie). It was really quite adorable, I assure you. I really like that he haas made strong attachments to things other than me to comfort him.
iS IT BAD IF MY SON SEES A GLASS OF WINE AND SAYS, "mAMA'S JUICE"?
- Pages me every time I go to the bathroom
- Calls for me overnight
- Calls for me all day
- Doesn't listen to reason
- Mumbles when he speaks so when I do what he's asked, I have done it wrong
- Wakes me at the crack of dawn and keeps me on the job until after dinner
He's a real tyrant. Good thing he makes it worthwhile with the snuggles and kisses (can I get a harrassment settlement out of this?).
Monday, February 26, 2007
So, Chuckles is not allergic to milk (or casein). He is intolerant. Now, if I preach anything in this household it is tolerance. Tolerance to the stupid, tolerance to the dumb and ignorant, tolerance of TV talking heads. And yet, my child is intolerant.
So, here is my description fo the difference between allergy and intolerance
Allergy - can kill you what with its anaphalactic response and all
Intolerance - will make you so sick you want to die
So, what to do about the cat situation? I can't get a dog instead and I don't want a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig.
Ms. Carrie Sarcastic
Congress today discussed a new bill proposing to limit blah blah blah. The debate over the bill was spirited with several representatives dissenting quite vocally including Old White Guy (R-GA) and Slightly Younger White Guy Who Is Either Hispanic or Italian (D-MA).
This is your brain as a stay-at-home-mom:
How do blind people know when to stop wiping after they've gone poopie?
This is Day 1 as a stay-at-home-mom (not that I have never spent a single day at home with Chuckles before, because I have. He's had sick days before and holidays and when I only worked part-time, but still).
- Jenn called me before my alarm went off again (2nd straight Friday)
- I wowed 'em at work with another brilliant money-saving idea
- I then promptly quit my job
- I went to Costco for 15 minutes, bought 7 things and spent $70.70
- I pulled Chuckles out of day care
- Lastly, I told all of this to my husband, who was stunned to say the absolute least
So, today is Stardate: 1 on the Mothership named Invention. I have a schedule of activities outlined on graph paper for the week so no one goes crazy. Chuckles is *still* asleep so here's teh condensed version:
Monday - laundry, change sheets, vaccum family room, groceries
Tuesday - health club, clean bathroom, library
And so on. Wish me luck.
I thought Jennifer Hudson's dress was just fine despite what others say; however, I did think she needed to keep her hands out of her pockets. Jennifer H is not a small woman and adding her hands to her hip width was not a good look, plus it made her look a little shy and nervous. But, hey, she won an Oscar and I didn't so what do I know.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
- Jenn (because she was the first one to call me on my birthday..but it was 5 o'clock in the morning)
- Whole Foods (because they actually have vegan cheese...but their distribution center is less than 2 miles from my house but the closest retail outlet is 30 miles away)
- Trader Joe's (because they have hemp seed granola...but their nearest store is 30 miles away, too and not in the same place as Whole Foods)
- Mr. Long-Suffering (because he volunteered to come change my flat tire for me...but he's completely insufferable in almost every other way right now)
PS - Mr. Long-Suffering is standing over my shoulder telling me to tell you that he only went in there so he could get some hand creme because his knuckles are cracked and bleeding. It is true and I won't let him touch me with those hands, so really, it's like I forced him to go there.
For starters, I think I resent my husband. That's normal, right? Also, he doesn't want me to be a stay-at-home mom. He wants me to get a job. Well, I have a job and he's making me quit that, so I figure I don't need to get a new job. My husband announced to his family that we weren't moving and all anyone wanted to know was whether we were having another baby. I told them Mr. L-S promised me a new cat. Yay. I get a new cat, and I get to stay home with Chuckles, who will only nap for me by going for a car ride...this ought to be fun.
I'm very weepy. Even more weepy than I have been. I'm just so conflicted. Work is fine. The job is good, even. They like me. I do a good job. But, keeping the job would mean an absolutely horrible personal family life. Just terrible. And at a certain point, I am pretty sure one of us would file for divorce. And I imagine the husband would win custody of the boy since I abandoned teh marital home. It's just so unfair. I didn't abandon them on purpose. They were supposed to come too until Mr. L-S whelched on his promise. Bastard. But I love him, don't get me wrong. I just think eveyrthing that he has done has been completely unfair to me (and a little stupid). It's like he's not even in touch with his gosh-darned feelings (stupid manly man). Oh well. My bed is made and I guess I am in it since ...whatever. I just feel so trapped and like I'm not even in control of my own life (which is spiraling out of control) and that is not a place I want to be.
I went to visit a friend's new baby on Friday. I left soon after getting there (even though I wanted to stay) so I could beat the Friday rush hour traffic. I didn't beat it. It took well over 3 hours to get home. I was only a few miles from home when the traffic broke free. I was sailing along at over 50 mph when I blew out another frickin' tire (on the interstate this time, in a construction zone, in what politely might be called a blighted neighborhood).
I changed it in 20 minutes flat while it was 14 degrees outside and I was in dress pants and dress loafers. I hadn't been home since MoOnday, wanted to see my husband and my son, oh and it was my birthday. WORST. BIRTHDAY. EVER. But, when it comes to changing flats, I am a rock star. And it was the same tire as last time, so I am getting a brand new tire under warranty, but I can't have it yet because Goodyear has been on strike for months. And in fact, I'm not sure I waant to replace it with one of these tires that they have been making recently since they have the salaried staff doing production. Salaried people don't actually have skills, so who knows the quality (although with the warranty, I guess it's OK).
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Monday, February 05, 2007
So, we have decided that if the house doesn't sell by the 15th, we're taking it off the market, I am quitting my job and coming home (to do what, I have no idea). And if the house does sell, we are moving against his strong protestations. So, that's where we are. He doesn't want to move no-matter-what, but he'll go if the house sells in teh next 10 days. I have no idea if I even want the house to sell now since I don't want to drag my husband kicking and screaming across state lines. Ack.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Coming back home this weekend, I left my birth control pills at my apartment. Since I only take them every-other day anyway, I guess I'll only miss one. By the way, why do I only take them every other day? To save money, reduce my exposure to hormones, but really, my subconscious is hoping that some low level of pills will keep all my bad symptons at bay (hair growth, weight gain, acne, etc) but somehow make me ovulate and get pregnant without getting back on teh infertility roller coaster. I want to be like everyone else who does not have to consciously decide to have a second baby. I just want it to happen on accident or by surprise so that the decision is not actually mine to make. Crazy, I know.
Upon consultation with Mr. Long-Suffering who will do most of the eating, we are having a Gino's East pizza (they sell them frozen at the store for $9..I thought about doing a delivery pizza but I think the reservation needed to be in two weeks ago since this is the biggest Super Bowl of the Century...note though that it's early in teh century).
So we're having French Onion dip, wavy lays, pizza, and the cake.
I was looking for veggie shreds so I could make Chuckles an English Muffin pizza of his very own while his dad and I ate good Chicago-style deep dish pizza. Looks liek the kid is getting goat cheese instead.
Futher to this, I'd like to point out at Mayor Daley and teh Mayor of Indianapolis have a wager. Furthermore, I'd like to point out that the Indiana stuff sucks (popcorn and tomato juice, anyone). So, Chicago is ponying up cheesecake, pizza, beer, etc. Indianapolis better hope they lose so they can get some good stuff.
Note to all: I live in Indiana, but in the suburbs of Chicago. Apparently, I have nothing in common with the rest of the state.