Sometimes, I am blonde

This is a long story. Where to start?

I have a 22-year old intern who used to work for me. He just bought his first new car. A little blue Honda Civic. He drove to a meeting at work and promptly fell into a car-sized pot hole filled with ice and couldn't get out but as he was trying, he was spraying dirty ice ater al over his new car (which was instantly freezing to every surface the water touched...and then he ran out of washer fluid).

So, I went out to help him. I drive a big truck and I carry rope. But someone had a little harness thing with hooks and whatnot. So, I towed him stuck ass out of the hole. And while I was doing it, my low fuel light went on.

So, after work, I went and got gas (and a car wash, because I got some of that dirt-ice on my truck too). I swiped my card at the pay at the pump and then I put the nozzle into my tank-hole (ha, I said tank-hold). I clicked it a couple of times to reset the pump to zero to make it go. But the gas did not flow. So I clicked the handle again and again and still no gas. I re-touched the button to select the 87-octane grade and I wiggled and jiggled the nozzle to make sure back-pressure wasn't interfering with the auto-shut-off mechanism and any anti-pollution devices on there. Still no gas. And I'm getting angry because it's all of 13 degrees out. I am frustrated and cold and it's late and I want to get home to the man and the boy and the gas won't come out.

Just then, a middle aged man came up and grabbed my arm gently (in a way that did not freak me out at all and normally someone touching me and invading my personal space would freak me the fuck right out). So, he took my arm and told me he could help. And then he flipped the lever on the gas pump to ON. Idiot! I cannot believe I didn't turn the pump on. So, he said I must not do that too often. Only every 5 or 6 days for the last 15 years! Oh well. Not all the pumps have that anymore, so I claim that this was just some outmoded gas station that just happened to have pay-at-the-pump and an automatic car wash.