Mmmm, Bar-Be-Que

Ever since the dawn of time, or this time last year, my son has referred to me as a grill. He also liked to sit on my yap and tell Yeesha, the cat, "No, you do not go outside!" while pumping his fist in the air like the littlest Black Power supporter.

Well, my baby is growing up. In the last week, he has started referring to both Lisa and me as girls and he enjoys sitting in my lap to read stories before bed. <> And we moved the crib out of his room into the guest bedroom. I did not have the heart to move it to the basement even though we won't need it for a minimum of a year.

Sorry for my Absence

See, here's the thing. I've been busy...err getting busy. Every day for forever I peed on a stick and everyday my monitor said "Ha. Not." And then one day on CD25, my monitor said, "Feh." On CD26, my monitor said, "Eh, Feh." but then on CD27, my monitor said, "What are you doing here with me? Get thee to the rogering chamber." So, uhm, I've been there for the last few days, only emerging for glasses of water and vitamins (and work and LOST).

I test March 8th. Wish me luck.

Sometimes, I am blonde

This is a long story. Where to start?

I have a 22-year old intern who used to work for me. He just bought his first new car. A little blue Honda Civic. He drove to a meeting at work and promptly fell into a car-sized pot hole filled with ice and couldn't get out but as he was trying, he was spraying dirty ice ater al over his new car (which was instantly freezing to every surface the water touched...and then he ran out of washer fluid).

So, I went out to help him. I drive a big truck and I carry rope. But someone had a little harness thing with hooks and whatnot. So, I towed him stuck ass out of the hole. And while I was doing it, my low fuel light went on.

So, after work, I went and got gas (and a car wash, because I got some of that dirt-ice on my truck too). I swiped my card at the pay at the pump and then I put the nozzle into my tank-hole (ha, I said tank-hold). I clicked it a couple of times to reset the pump to zero to make it go. But the gas did not flow. So I clicked the handle again and again and still no gas. I re-touched the button to select the 87-octane grade and I wiggled and jiggled the nozzle to make sure back-pressure wasn't interfering with the auto-shut-off mechanism and any anti-pollution devices on there. Still no gas. And I'm getting angry because it's all of 13 degrees out. I am frustrated and cold and it's late and I want to get home to the man and the boy and the gas won't come out.

Just then, a middle aged man came up and grabbed my arm gently (in a way that did not freak me out at all and normally someone touching me and invading my personal space would freak me the fuck right out). So, he took my arm and told me he could help. And then he flipped the lever on the gas pump to ON. Idiot! I cannot believe I didn't turn the pump on. So, he said I must not do that too often. Only every 5 or 6 days for the last 15 years! Oh well. Not all the pumps have that anymore, so I claim that this was just some outmoded gas station that just happened to have pay-at-the-pump and an automatic car wash.

What good is obsessive without the compulsive?

Things keep arriving from ebay. Today a Gordon the Big Express Engine arrived along with three Richard Scarry books, which were huge hits with The Boy, The Man of the House, and me. Yay. Everyone wins.

Then, I just spent the last 45 minutes on teh internet scrouning for drug prices. You see, I have contacted my doctor and we start infertility treatment come DAY ONE. And although I don't need teh pricey drugs (yet), my insurance doesn't cover this stuff so I am a cash customer. I am comparing and contrasting the relative merits of buying online in the USA or looking to Spain. I think USA. But, who knows. Prices are all over the board. One simple pill ranges in price from $1.50 each to $4.26 each and I need 15, so $22.50 to $63.89. That savings alone can pay for the express shipping from Spain. Never mind the cost of Pregnyl/Profasi/Novarel/Chorex. That ranges from $26 to over $100. I'm taking recommendations for online pharmacies which you have used (or know someone who has) and are reputable and are not selling Smarties in fancy packages.
Julie and Julia have used ivfmeds and freedomDrug. I priced things out on drugstore as well. CVS doesn't post all of these prices online, but boy howdie are they high. And Walgreens can kiss my butt since they don't even tell you anything except that they bought Schraft's Fertility pharmacy and call them for prices and availability. So screw you. Ahem, where was I? Oh yes, I was obsessing and compulsing all over here.

Since I am waiting for Day One, I probably have another three week to a month to fret over this since it's only CD18 here (and the cycles, they are long). When CD1 does arrive, it will all be chop-chop-chop hurry-hurry-hurry. Wait wait wait. Fun!

Bathroom Remodel Update

I painted the bathroom the color in ths picture that is on the wall in the corner. The two blobs side-by-side were the trial-size paint I got at the store. The one on the right was deemed too orange and that on the left was too brown/dark. So the beige/oddly greenish in real life color is the one we chose. It's fairly dark but next to the white ceiling make a nice contrast.

Cirque du Soleil

We play. A lot. What else are you going to do when you severely restrict television viewing? ANyway, one of my favorite things is to "Make The Baby Fly". Getting harder since we no longer have a baby around here. But Chuckles likes it. His new thing is to try to climb up to the top of my feet to see whether he can make me drop him. Pretty neat. Until the day I do end up dropping him right on my neck or something. If I ever need to quit my job again, maybe we can run away and join the circus.

I just noticed that the socks in my last picture are not their whitest and brightest. And that reminded me that there is something about my awesome new washing machine that I do not like: it's not good at removing lint/hair from clothes while washing. My old washer was excellent at removing my hair from all kinds of polar fleece and cat fur from pillow cases. The new washer, notsomuch. So I have a lint brush that I am using now.

Food is Good

This is my birthday dinner. I cooked this dinner, basically from scratch (but as it was MY birthday, I did not clean up the dishes afterwards, at least not much). We have whole grain pasta with homemade pesto (I grew the basil and I bought the parmesan, but that's pretty much scratch) and shrimp & cod. There is also a side of steamed asparagus and several glasses of white wine purchased at the winery (not by me).
This is the zoomed out version of my kitchen table. Tres classy, no? The plastic microwave steamer basket serving the asparagus right on the table. The open bottle of wine. The plastic booster seat at the table. The fish sticks on child's plate (along with no salt added canned carrots, asparagus, and the pesto pasta). I was once asked my theory of food. It is "EAT GOOD FOOD". Do not eat food products or food-like substances or chemicals. If you want something sweet, have a piece of fruit. Or some sugar. Avoid the sucralose and the aspartame.


This is my birthday cake which Chuckles and I made together. He's really quite a big help. He cracked the eggs, dumped the cake mix, dumped the water, and dumper the oil right into the bowl and then held the mixer. He also poured teh batter into the two cake pans since this is a layer cake. So you know what I said one paragraph ago about eating real food and not food products. It's all out the window for this cake from a box. There are two "ingredients" which I try to avoid at all costs: hydrogentated oils (trans fats) and high fructose corn syrup. Tubs of store-bought frosting have both. It was good. I guess I should see whether Whole Foods sells a pre-made frosting tub.
And here we are after my birthday was all over. Chuckles got his Toby the Tram engine from my birthday. He was pretty excited and cannot wait until someone else has a birthday.

32

Yesterday, my mom called me to wish me a happy 31st birthday, which was quite sweet except that I just turned 32.

My mother-in-law got me a Turbi-Towel. I love it. Love it. She got me one for Christmas about 6 years ago and I love it. Love it. Love it. So, she got me anotehr one. I was thrilled and said that now I have one to wash and one to wear. Apparently, she thought I was throwing my old one out to the rag bin. No no no.

My birthday was fine. Good, even. Better than last year. Chuckles came into my bed at about 5 am (after sleep walking and going back to sleep on the rug in the hallway). He and I stayed in bed until about 8:30. Mr. Long-Suffering was up making crepes in the kitchen (and cleaning up the ensuing mess). Later, Chuckles stood on a chair in the kitchen and broke eggs into a bowl so I could make myself a birthday cake. He dumped in the oil and water and cake mix into a bowl and held the mixer while we beat it. He's a big helper. Oh, and I went to bed at 8 pm and slept until 7 am the next day, so I feel like a super-human being.

Chuckles is learning to use scissors right now. Very scary. They are quite dull kid scissors but I still worry that he'll try to cut his hand, his hair, or the curtains. I never would have thought to give him scissors but they let him try at the library so I let him try. He does OK. We now make "snowflakes" and there are tiny little scraps of paper all over my living room.

Oh, and my in-laws do have carbon monoxide and are slowly poisoning themselves, so Chuckles did not spend the night Friday. We went there today with some tools. Looks like it is their furnace. I'll try to borrow a sniffer from work on Tuesday and bring it by so they can check it out.

For the Record

I am in a much better place personally than I was on this day last year. Oh yes. Very much better.

Last year, I had a job I loved that I quit because my family life was in shambles. I resented my husband and thought about divorce during every moment I was not thinking about what to fix for dinner. My house wasn't selling due to some "slump".

This year, I have three jobs (two of which I tolerate and one which looks quite promising). I love my husband madly and miss him when he's not here. I want another baby and I don't care whether I sell my house because I live here now. And I got a cat. I won't even mention that I haven't had a flat tire in almost a year because I don't want to jinx it (and I have four new tires). But so far, things look OK.

Am I a Robot?

When I have to do comment verfication to prove that I am not a robot doing auto-post on blogs, I often have trouble reading the letters. qxr3np

Happy Valentine's Day

So, I am totally in to bullet points these days.

• In the category of "Things I Never Ever Thought Would Be Bad But Were", we have a "relaxation massage". I had a panic attack on the table and thought I was being hurt or something and then broke out in hives from the Bio-Freeze. I should have known not to take the massage when my regular girl was booked but I figured anyone can rub me down. I now, officially, know better. And they made me pay full-price for it. With you all as my witnesses (ok, just both of you), I will NEVER use Bio-Freeze again. I have no idea what "Ilex" is but it's in there and I bet that's the reason I was shaking uncontrollably.
• In honor of Valentine's Day, my husband left town on a business trip.
• In honor of Valentine's Day, we got my in-laws a carbon monoxide detector for their house (we had some suspicions but they don't call it a silent killer for nothing.). Their house has about 50 ppm of CO, which according to the booklet is the OSHA PEL for 8 hours. So, they are poisoning themselves slowly. Chuckles is scheduled to spend the night Friday, but I may need to overrule that as he is much smaller than a full-sized adult and we cannot have him there for 12 hours being poisoned. That is not OK. So, my inlaws need to have some repair done to something in their house. Bummer. Glad we found it though.
• In honor of Valentine's Day, I sent those little cups of fruit to school, which were a bit hit by the way. And they sent home a bunch of candy and crap. Am I the only one who thinks 2-year olds do not need to know about the existence of "fruit" snacks, suckers, Kit-Kats, and Fun-Dip? Did you know they actually make Valentines that are a candy wrapper or box of candy or a packet of Fun-Dip?
• It's now like CD13 or CD14 (I think it's 13 but I cannot keep track, which is why the fertility monitor is so good. I could go switch it on and it would tell me).
• Spoiler Alert...skip to the next bullet if you don't want to know....The TV show LOST is seriously freaking me out. But we did learn the identity of another of the Oceanic 6...spoiler alert....it's Sayeed. I think Kate and Sawyer are hot together. I don't care if he's all slimy and smarmy and dirty and stinky and shirtless and oiled up just so. And Kate has freckles and dimples and smiles and Sawyer told her he want to stay on teh island because basically, back in the real world, he's not good enough to get her and she's supposed to be in jail. He wants to stay on the island for love. Oh my god. The longing. But they, ahem, have eachother occasionally, so the longing is notsomuch, but then you throw Jack in the mix. Oh and guns! Whee.
• Work is insane. I got this new job and am training in on it but I still have my other job and it's ridiculous to have the two jobs I had before, be responsible for training everyone in their new assignments including me, and be training in on a new job. I am training in the big, big city, so tomorrow night (barring needing to rescue my baby from a house of poison gas) I will stay in town and go to dinner. And my husband has suggested that I get a little drunk so he can get a little lucky. I am just sayin' yo.
• Two is a hard age, but I hear three is worse. I fear I have entered the realm of the 3. Yikes. He always seems to hit these milestones a little early (usually about 4-6 months early) and we're there. He's defiant, loving, disobedient, happy, strong-willed, snuggly. It's like living with either a drunkard or a manic-depressive. Either way, it's a fun ride (most of the time).
• Apparently six were killed in a shooting at NIU. I sure am glad the only one who terrorized campus when I was in school was the UnaBomber.
• I have ebay syndrome and I refuse to log on there today because I know I will bid on something and the next thing you know, the UPS man and I are on a first-name basis and then all of a sudden, I am in divorce court splitting up the assests attained via ebay. And I already have 19 children's books on the way to my house and somewhere between 2 and 6 train engines, I can't even remember what I bought!

Previously On SarcastiCarrie

So, anyway, where were we?

• I am on CD10 with the Clear Plan Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor. I have neither LH nor estrogen to show for it. Apparently, I suck in many ways and this is one of them. But that's OK. I also think that I wasted the money on teh monitor (although it's not wasted since I can resell it on ebay when I am done for about the same as I paid for it...so it's like I'm borrowing). So, anyway, the monitor measures estrogen and LH concentration in your urine to get a fertility rating for each day. But, I think I am capable of doing that without little test sticks and an electronic gizmo. I can check ewcm and bbt and everything, but it's nice to have confirmation.
• So that fertility monitor was an ebay score. Today I got a Toby the Tram. Chuckles wants a Gordon the Big Express Engine and a Toby the Tram. I guess I'll give him Toby in his Easter basket. Or Easter Bunny will. Whatever.
• Ode to Minus 3 degrees: Ohhhh, you have a redeeming quality minus three. You make walking in plus 12 (in a snowstorm) comparatively enjoyable.
• To my train this morning that was 15 minutes late leaving me standing on the crowded platform for extra minutes in minus 3 weather (with wind chill, friends): thanks for not being 20 minutes late.
• This is pretty funny, especailly around the 50-second mark: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEaS-K3j3M8
• I just bid on a Gordon the Big Express Engine. ebay is a sickness. But the DEALS.
• We have entered a new developmental phase. At least I hope it's just a phase. Chuckles has discovered "naughty" words. He has said things like "Shut Up" (which hopefully is on it's way out) and "poop" and "butt". In context, it goes like this: "Mom, you are a poop." Or, "Dinner, Apple Sauce, milk, chair, butt ." I try to ignore it. But it's hard. The center director for his day care had a talk with him last week because he just walked around teh room singing loudly: Butt Poop Farts Pee Butt Poop Poopie Butt Farts (and so on). She said she was having a hard time not laughing so tears were streaming down her face. I pointed out that saying naughty words makes Mrs. Nina cry. Ha ha ha ha.
• Oh, man. I just bid on some Richard Scarry books. I'm such a sucker for books. It's not like CHuckles doesn't have any books. And it's not like I didn't just drop $2 at the Goodwill for 8 more books. Sucker. I'm a sucker for books. He just got Berenstain Bears something about a road race which I read back-to-back-to-back-to-back until bed (in the big-boy bed, by the way, which was really quite a painless tranisition...much less bad than I had feared).
• Oh, and Chuckles kept dry overnight 1x this weekend and 1x dry at nap this weekend. I hear it's about 6 months after daytime dry before nighttime dry sets in. I'm cool with a year since I think we did daytime potty training on the early side (about 2 years, 2 or 3 months?).
• I'm not a huge reader of fiction. I zone out when people talk about books most of the time. I don't even like fiction (or movies) but I got sucked in to Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice on PBS's complete Jane Austen last night. Man, that Mr. Collins is a bore. And the brooding Mr. Darcy. Too bad I had to go to bed and have no idea what happened before I turned it on or after. May have to read that. I have a lot of time on the train nowadays.
• Oh my gosh, I just bid on another lot of Richard Scarry books. It's a sickness. I know. I am shutting down my other browser window right now. I'm compulsive. Browser is done and I am going to bed. yikes.
• I'm room mom for Chuckles's Valentine's Party on Thursday. I'm bringing little Dixie cups with hearts on them filled with fruit. Each of 24 children gets red grapes, green grapes, a strawberry, and a blackberry, and Disney-Pixar Valentine and heart sticker. I love this mom-thing (can you tell he napped at school today?).

TV

The FCC says that all TV will be digital in 2009. They're already broadcasting it. In Chicagoland, we have Channel 11 (public television wttw) but we also have 11.1 which is qubo (I think it's cue-boe), a children's programming station. Those are the stations between the stations. Because my tv is not digital, I don't get those channels. But, they're going to stop broadcasting in analog. So, I signed up to get a $40 voucher for a digital converter set top box. We have an antenna in our attic that will receive digital signals. Without it, the tv goes dark next year. And that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

I love the new show CHUCK, which is as good as a cancellation in TV-world. Shows I like rarely stick around. Like Wonderfalls. I can't explain why I like CHUCK without a little back story. I like stories. As in, in order to get my motor running, I like to think about things. I like 'longing'. I like when people want eachother but due to circumstance cannot have eachother. That is how Chuck is for me. He's totally hot for Sarah, his CIA protector. But he can't have her. And she's hot for him too, but she won't let herself fall for him (and why not fall for him, he's hot in a nerdy way). So, Chuck is one hot show. What with the longing and the unrequited and the whatnot. Oh and Captain Awesome is man-cake in a more traditional way. And Casey is scary man-cake. And the nerd herd are fun-nay. And if you want to watch with a man, there's usually hot-chick on hot-chick fighting. The only drawback is I hate Ellie because of what she did to Ephram on Everwood (but that's characters and just on a different show, so no harm/no foul).

NOw, let's talk about LOST. The scheduling people who came up with the idea of leaving the show off of the air for 10 months are idiots but so far this season, the show is moving right along. Apparently, they get rescued off of the island. But not all of them. Only six. The Oceanic 6. So far, we know that Jack, Kate, and Hurley get off the island. Next week they tell us another one. But first, next week, they will show this week's episode as a rerun but with enhanced content. What does that mean? Is there a deleted scene? And this stuff with Jacob in the cabin. I don't think I can sleep. Eek! There was a toll-free number in last night's episode that wasn't a 555-number. What happens if I call it? Will I learn all the secrets? I am sure they are a viral marketing juggernaut. I;m watching Missing Pieces (deleted scenes, I guess). These scenes are from all different seasons. Very odd.

Let's Play "What If"

What if I get pregnant this month? My due date would be, what, like Thanksgiving? That's cool.

What if I don't get pregnant this month? I researched last night and within 4 miles of my home, there are two fertility clinics (one less than a mile away) with 2005 IVF take-home baby rates of 28% and 22%, for $7200 and $9900, respectively (not that I need IVF, since last time I just needed a little four-drug cocktail but it's good to have options).

What if I do get pregnant this month? I will end up off of the progesterone some time in the spring/summer.

What if I don't? I'll be drinking heavily this easter.

What if I do? That new job will look awfully foolish.

What if I don't? That new job will look awesome.

Anyway, that's what I have been thinking lately. Anyone know who won on SuperDuper Tuesday? The news here is all blizzard, all the time.

Oh, and I want to talk about the Writers' Strike and cable tv, my lack thereof, and digital tv thingamajigs. Oh and commuting. I want to talk about light rail. They are looking at extending the light rail into the city into my town. That'd be OK and probably a boon for property values. Sometimes I go to the city on teh train. It's a 10-minute drive to the train station. No biggie. But the new station would be closer. They say we can have it with no new taxes but the train schedule says that my ticket/fare does not pay for the entire cost of transporting me, so I don't know. Maybe raise fares to meet operating costs?

Wait, I just found another IVF clinic less than 1 mile away with a take-home baby rate of 23% (no price listed). I figure that IVF clinics have much better hours for monitoring than the OB's office (who, by the way, did fine by me last time, but honestly, an 11:15 am wanding, 20 minutes from work is a bit inconvenient).

So, what's up with you?

PS - I hate that jury duty is keeping me from having lunch with a friend ( I would say "an old friend" but she reads the blog and would point out she's only 6 weeks older and my turn is coming soon and blahblahblah, love you).

Google may be the Devil, but it sure is fun

If you search for
"flush washcloth down toilet hands knees clean floor"
on Google, I am the FIFTH website that comes up. Woo Hoo.

What I cannot believe is that if you google search "Chuckles does not nap" my site does not come up in the first 20 or so. I must make this post right now that will make it come up.

Searching SarcastiCarrie gives you a lot of things that aren't me (or are me but aren't me here). Searching AngeliCarrie gives you a whole bunch of things that are really not me, but searching DemoniCarrie gets you here, eventually.

Searching "long follicular phase short luteal phase pcos" gives you hits on soulcysters, and all kinds of things that I search yield hits on Stirrup Queens.

I think that when you google "Dear Al Gore nap ride car" I should come up (oh and I do but you have to google that and not "Dear Al Gore nap drive in car"or something).

Testing Crap

New blog skillz in action. Am checking stuff. Trying things. Doing whatnot. With the blog.

Stalking Annabelle's Mom

There is a girl at Chuckles's day care named Annabelle. She's a doll. A mop head of curly brown hair, big, round brown eyes, and lips puffed like sleeves from a 1980s prom dress. Anyway, I am stalking her mother. Annabelle actually looks a lot like her mother.

So, I saw Annabelle's mother at school this morning and we were talking about breastfeeding. Then, I left to head off to work. On the train platform, I saw Annabelle's mom. I would have said, "Hi" but I was on my cell phone and I have no idea what her name is. It could be Julie or Mitzi or Liz or Bernadette. All I know is she is Annabelle's mom. Then, on the train home, I saw her again (with her husband this time who I only know as Annabelle's Dad). So, my goal for tomorrow is to find out her name and say, "Hi" to her. Oh, and I guess I'll tell her my name too.

More Shoppy

More cute kids towels can be found at L L Bean.

Went to Goodwill today. It was 50% off day. Woo Hoo. We got little kid Snow Boots (and then went and played in the snow for an hour), two pairs of jeans for me (Tommy Hilfiger and Rider), six shirts (brands from Sonoma to Eddie Bauer), and three books. My grand total was $20. I love Goodwill.

No matter what I have been telling you or myself about not living like I might get pregnant and not planning things, I apparently was doing this. I kept not buying new clothes because I was going to get pregnant and then I'd get to take all my maternity stuff out and wear it and then I'd have a whole new wardrobe anyway. So, with this morning's stunning negative, I went out and got new clothes. Whee. And heck, I took that new job at work. So, there.

Groundhog Day (or pink is a shade of red)

We face 6 more weeks of winter. And then Spring.

I saw a lot of pink and red this morning. See, I don't actually pee on sticks. I pee into a cup and then dip my sticks or use a dropper or whatever. So, this morning at six:dark:early, I dutifully peed into a cup, dropped four drops into the test, and began waiting. Only the 9 watt bathroom nightlight was on in there so it was dark. Chuckles came in and had to pee,right,now, so I hurried up and got him settled. Eventually, I noticed that the pee in the cup was pink. Immediately I was elated because my first sign of pregnant with Chuckles was bleeding but then I realized this was ridiculous, so I glanced at the test and saw its unmistakeable one pink line. And no other lines at all. So, there you have it. I am not pregnant; I have my period; I am mooodier and weepier than I thought possible. Hope's a bitch.

I guess there is good news in all of this: I get to use my fertility monitor.