2008

Happy happy. Glad to see you made it to the other side.

I went to a party. I watched Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve even though I did not know a single artist on stage (I just watched to see whether they brought Dick Clark out of suspended animation for the night). Chuckles and Mr. L-S went too. I was reluctant. Resistant. I did not want to go. Chuckles is such a marginal sleeper, and this was going to involve us staying away for the night. And my mom volunteered to babysit Chuckles in our own home with his own bed and so on. But the mr would have none of that, so the boy went with us. It was almost an "I-told-you-so" night, but it worked out ok. We muddled through. Some sleep was had and I had two bottles of champagne (and no hangover).

My mother-in-law volunteered to put Chuckles down for bed (at about 9 o'clock). We didn't see her for 2.5 hours. That boy is stubborn, but MIL is persistent. When she came back to the party, she was begging for a mixed drink and some time on the Wii (and Guitar Hero). She got both. Chuckles was awake and sitting upright in the hallway (!) when I went upstairs at 2:30. I have no idea how long he was there, so I took him to the potty with me while I brushed my teeth and got marginally ready and then brought him to bed with me. He was up at 6 am to go potty and have some milk and went back down until almost 10. Not too bad.

But then! Then, some ugly things were said that made me question whether my mothering is poor, which I have decided it is not. I just play the cards I have been dealt. Chuckles is not a poor sleeper away from home because we rarely stay away from home. We rarely stay away from home because he is a poor sleeper away from home. B is the root cause of A not the other way around. When he was an infant, we tried just toting him with us wherever we went and we were all the worse or it. Once I realized (lightbulbs exploding over my head with the force I realized this) that he needed routine, sameness, consistency, and his own bed (and a lovey), we stayed home more and slept more. A lot more. I was happier. I pray that BoBo (theoretical future baby) does a better job away from home, but if not, I vow not to beat myself up. Play the cards you are dealt. And if you have to get a sitter to stay home with the baby so you can go out, then do it. Especially if MiMi is standing there saying, "Leave him with me. Go. Have fun. We'll be fine."