Tuesday, December 19, 2006


So, I'm not religious. At all. I am a good person who knows right from wrong and will instill that in my son. I do not believe in god. It's OK. I feel fine about it. I believe that when you die, you are gone. You only live on in the memory of your family and friends. I don't believe in souls or in an afterlife. I'm OK with that. You don't need to pray for my salvation or anything.

I'd say I am socially Christian as I eat dinner on Christmas and Easter and I put up lights and a tree too. But, I don't go to church and I don't believe. I've never been baptized and I don't pray. At my house, when I host holidays, we don't pray. We toast to our health, wealth, and family. It's a nice tradition that makes others forget that you haven't prayed.

I am a scientist by nature and by trade, and I just don't believe in magic or god or higher powers or any of that. But, I'm an American, and I respect other people's right to practice their religions however they see fit (within reason, of course...no ritual beatings of women or anything allowed). I respect other people's religions. I don't protest Christmas trees or nativity scenes or menorahs or fasting or sabbath or Diwali or anything. Purim is fine by me. Women who choose to wear a head covering are A-OK as are men who wear yarmulkes. I even attended a baptism (in an originally stunning eggplant colored dress), though I did not draw a cross on the child's head (I politely declined) nor did I respond "and also with you". I sat quietly while others prayed and I stood there quietly when that seemed appropriate (stand up, sit down, fight-fight-fight).

My husband is slightly more religious than I am. He was christened Catholic and confirmed Lutheran. We married in a Lutheran church (mostly because the hall I wanted was booked up on short notice) on a Sunday five years ago. He has not attended church during the entire 8 years I have known him. I don't think he believes in god, but I could be wrong. Our child is 19-months old, and now, all of a sudden, he wants to baptize my baby. I don't get it. Why now? I'm guessing he had a good time at the baptism. I think his dad is also pressuring him.

So, I'm at a total loss on this. Part of me says I don't believe in it anyway, so go ahead because it won't change anything. The other part of me says wait long enough and let the kid decide if he'd like to do that since I don't think you can un-do it if you don't want it. Another part of me wants to know why he doesn't respect my opinion. Since we don't go to church, isn't this sort of hypocritical of him?

I told him he could go ahead and baptize but he had to make all the arrangements and phone calls and whatnot himself since I did not want to be involved (which he tells people means I won't let him baptize Chuckles, but really how could I stop him for doing that?). I just don't want to be involved. I told him I was willing to organize the luncheon for afterward and if he waited we could combine it with a housewarming party. I think he just wants to blame me to his father so he can get out of the guilt/blame. So, am I being unreasonable? I'd like some honest feedback here. I believe my exact words were something like: "I don't care if you baptize him. Do whatever you want. I just don't want to be involved with it. You can even call my dad for help (my father is a church deacon, who ironically I don't think believes in god either, but his wife volunteered him when he wasn't at church)."
So, is this fair? I will help with lunch but not locating a church or sending them paperwork on our marriage license, or vowing to reject satan myself. I think I am being fair, but sometimes people disagree with me (especially people who think religion is a really big deal).

No comments:

Post a Comment