Monday, March 05, 2007

Nagging Feeling

I have this nagging feeling that I hate my husband. I know it is terribly unfair as I am a grown woman capable of making my own decisions, but I really feel like I was manipulated. You know, when you are given completely free reign to choose among 4 really crappy options it's no choice at all.

I hate him I hate him I hate him I hate him. I threw away my promising career for him. He lied to me and told me all the right things and then whelched on a deal. He has no plans of ever ever ever ever leaving the house in which we live (which he now wants to he fricken insane?...he wants to plow about $10k into the house...bathroom, roof, windows, painting...a house that we can't sell at a very low price to start and now he wants to "improve" the house so we can never move without taking a loss on the house). I hate him. It's so hard because I do love the dumbass (ponounced...Dumas - like the author).

Oh, and once upon a time, we actually had an offer on our house right after we put it on the market and between dumas #1 husband and dumas #2 realtor, that deal fell through. If it had gone, I'd be living my new life right now. Would I be happier? I have no idea. Dumas #1 would probably be blogging while a stay-at-home-dad and complaining about how I dragged him kicking and screaming across state lines.

So, bottom line, I apparently have feelings and I have no idea how to process them, deal with them, make them go away, and move on with my life (since I am committed to being married to this guy for the rest of my life). If anyone has suggestions of a book I can read to make it all go away, I have a library card and am scheduled back there on Wednesday for the Mother Goose on the Loose program (today, I sneaked Chuckles into Terrific Twos and Threes even though he is 2-months shy of 2).

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