Meet the Cast - Carly & random thoughts after that

Carly and I used to work together (about 400 miles and two jobs ago). She was my maid of honor when I married Mr. Long-Suffering. She is the friend who keeps me honest and grounded. She is also not afraid of hurting my feelings, so I do get some brutally honest commentary from her from time to time (go ahead and comment on this post Carly and tell me how my blogging is going...I can take the criticism).
Carly detests my penchant for sweater sets (which are really quite practical as the over sweater can hide a stain on the undersweater and the over sweater can be used to hide nipples if the office is cold). Carly also thinks I have no sense of humor. At all. In fact, she will tell you that she took me to a comedy club once, and it was painful for her. I swear on a stack of bible-equivalents for secular humanists that I have a sense of humor, albeit a dry one. Very dry. Almost as dry as the nether regions of a nursing mother.
So, that's Carly. Oh, and she's trying to look up an old boyfriend, so if you have any tips on how to find him, please leave them in the comments for her.
Here's the link for Lexus Nexis if you think he has published anything. You might need to get someone in Academia to search it for you (or you might need to go to the library) as I think it is subscription only. Oh, or if anyone works at a law firm, I think you have access to it as well. If I knew the fellow's name we were trying to find, I'd put it right here MR. XXXXXX so that we could all use our best sleuthy tools to find him. All I know is that he has the same first name as some guy who was stoned to death in the bible.

Oh, and you could try doing a zabasearch on him too. Let's all look up old boyfriends on zaba right now...

And, let's not forget to use any alumni connections we might have. Personally, I have looked up old boyfriends on the alumni directory, but the entries do not give the level of detail I want. For example, here is what it says:
Joe Q. Public works for ABC Corp and lives at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. He is an alumni donor.

Here is what I want it to say:
Joe Q. Public works for ABC Corp as a mid-level functionary. He watches "Office Space" frequently as his job is life-draining. Joe lives at 1313 Mockingbird lane with his wife Melinda, whom he got pregnant on their fifth date and their 5-year old daughter Caitlyn. Melinda is having an affair with her hair dresser's brother and we aren't entirely sure Caitlyn is really Joe's daughter. Joe is sorry he ever left you but he hasn't grown up at all and wouldn't treat you any better today than he did when you were 20. Joe is an alumni donor, but you give more Ms. Sarcastic because your job is better and you are smarter and better off without him.